Shadow The Hedgehog: The Abridged Files
by Swiftshadow123
Summary: Another parody, based on Shadow's game! Our fluffy hero is forced to go on a quest by his dad, I mean Black Doom, to get the Chaos emeralds! Will he be owned by the cheesy quotes? Why the heck does the Commander have a Digimon? How come I'm asking? Why?
1. It's not always BLACK AND WHITE!

_Yup, Swiftshadow here…I know I should be working on Four Minutes Before Death, but I have many rabid plot demons snapping at my fingers. So I figured I'll post chapters on the stories I don't have Writer's Block on._

Tachi: Swift doesn't own Shadow, or any of the songs in this fic! She only owns her OCs, PS2, Netbook and soul!

* * *

><p>Shadow The Hedgehog: The Abridged Files<p>

Chapter 1: IT'S NOT ALWAYS BLACK AND WHITE!

_I'm not sure even where to start with this…I guess it all started when I got the epic Shadow the Hedgehog game. I've been a Sonic fan ever since I watched Sonic X when I was younger, but then a new fluffy dude walked onto the scene._

_Shadow._

_I just had to get his video game…even if it's epically hard, and even if I fail and die all the time, I have to try._

_Because I know I can beat it._

* * *

><p>Fanfiction Dimension<p>

Tachi the Jackal stared across at the strange human girl sitting next to her, holding a PS2 console. The girl had scruffy dark brown hair, was wearing some kind of school uniform, and had glasses perched crookedly on her nose, tilting at an angle.

"Swift? Aren't you going to turn on the game console?" She asked. The girl slowly turned to her, and started singing randomly.

_IT'S ALWAYS HARD WHEN YOUR JOURNEY BEGINS,_

_HARD TO FIND YOUR WAY, HARD TO MAKE NEW FRIENDS!_

_BUT THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN'T DO,_

'_CAUSE YOU'VE GOT THE POWER INSIDE OF YOU!_

Tachi covered her ears in shock as the author sang the Pokémon Black and White theme song. And then it got worse, as a random kid with grey hair and mismatched eyes, possibly an OC called Akemi, walked in and started joining in the singing, while playing his guitar.

_IT'S NOT ALWAYS_

_BLACK AND WHITE!_

_BUT YOUR HEART ALWAYS KNOWS WHAT'S RIGHT!_

_IT'S NOT ABOUT WIN OR LOSE,_

_IT'S THE PATH YOU CHOOSE,_

_LET THE JOURNEY BEGIN._

_POKEMON!_

"What the heck did I just sing?" Akemi asked himself, wondering why on earth would he get up and sing a cheesy Pokémon song.

"Don't ask me! Just get on with the story!" Tachi yowled.

"I just wanted to make an impression…" The author complained.

"Well, you did it, by deafening any new readers! They probably ran away screaming! NOW ON WITH THE STORY!"

* * *

><p>After that plot building interruption to our story, the scene switched to a grassy hill, with a lone tree on it. A black hedgehog with red stripes stared into the distance, giving certain fangirls playing the game heart attacks.<p>

"Shadow the Hedgehog…why does that name haunt me? It's the only thing I can remember…and that gruesome image…" Shadow shivered as he remembered a distant memory.

Shadow's flashback

Shadow was quietly standing in the field, minding his own business, when a piece of paper decided to blow along and stick itself to his leg. He kicked it off, but the paper just came back, and flew right into his face.

What images he saw on the paper, made him want to bleach his eyes. For the picture was the Sonic fanbase's scariest imagining of all…

SONADOW.

"IT BURNS! I WOULD NEVER DO THAT WITH THE BLUE FAKER! AHHH!" Shadow gave a manly scream as he was buried alive in more Sonadow. The pile of paper soon stopped moving, and all was silent in the meadow.

Which brings us to this moral.

Every time you draw graphic Sonadow, Shadow loses a life. That is all.

*end of flashback*

"Thank Chaos I had an extra life…and there was another memory as well…something about a girl called Marie or Marine or something like that…" Shadow mused. He looked up at the sky.

"I SAID, THERE WAS ANOTHER MEMORY!"

"Oh, pipe down, we heard you for the first time…" Tachi replied back out of nowhere.

"Then why isn't your author writing it?"

"Every time she even HEARS Maria's death, she turns into a trembling nervous wreck who shouts, 'TRAGIC!' at random times. It was so bad the last time, Akemi had to go to the shop and buy triple chocolate fudge sugar brownies, with extra chocolate chips." Tachi explained.

"Sigh, whatever."

Tachi's presence vanished, as the sky suddenly went a pretty red colour. Clouds started swirling over the nearby city, and ALIENS rained down.

"ZOMG, IT'S RAINING ALIENS! THIS IS A RESULT OF CLIMATE CHANGE! AHHHH!" A poor driver screamed as his car was flipped over by a giant alien.

"BLARG!" It roared, doing a victory pose. Meanwhile, back by the safe tree, Shadow had somehow seen the accident. Don't ask me how.

"Pathetic humans…I don't have any time for this…" He started to walk away, when some eye…alien…purple thingy zoomed over to him. A large hologram of an alien with three eyes, a robe and more bling than a rapper, appeared.

"IS THIS THING ON? IT IS? OKAY THEN." The alien turned his attention to Shadow.

"Just who are you?" Shadow asked, not sure whether to reach for his machine gun, or run away screaming.

"SILENCE! I AM BLACK DOOM! YOUR…" Black Doom paused, and then continued.

"NEVER MIND! YOU ARE RELATED TO ME IN NO POSSIBLE WAY! YOU DEFINETLY AREN'T MY SON!"

"…What?"

"ANYHOW, THE DAY OF RECKONING IS HERE. BRING ME THE SEVEN CHAOS EMERALDS, AND I'LL TELL YOU YOUR PAST. YOU HAVE THREE DAYS, OR ELSE!" Black Doom threatened.

"…Why should I follow your orders?" Shadow said, crossing his arms.

"DON'T QUESTION MY AUTHORITY, BOY! FIND THE CHAOS EMERALDS, OR…OR…" The alien stopped. He needed Shadow to find the Chaos emeralds, so he couldn't exactly kill him. He decided to settle for the next best thing.

"FIND ME THE CHAOS EMERALDS, AND I'LL REVEAL YOUR PAST, AND YOU'LL ALSO GET A LIFETIME SUPPLY OF SPICY MEAT FEAST PIZZA, FROM DOMINO'S."

"PIZZA? I'm in."

"EXCELLENT. HEAD TO THE WORTHLESS PATHETIC IDIOTIC HUMAN CITY, AND YOU'LL FIND THE CHAOS EMERALD THERE." Black Doom vanished, and the eye flew off.

"Well, if he's going to give me free pizza, and tell me my past…I have to listen to him. Even though something's telling me that three eyed aliens aren't good news." Shadow said to himself. He skated down the hill…

And the epic quest for the pizza, I mean, Shadow's past began.

* * *

><p>"Then what was the point of you singing Pokemon Black and White?" Tachi wondered. Swift shrugged.<p>

"I like messing with people's minds. That's why I picked Psychology as a GCSE subject. Now HIT IT AKEMI!" Swift yelled to the teenager, who was holding his guitar. Tachi grabbed some drumsticks, and both of them started to play the actual theme song to Shadow the Hedgehog, with Akemi singing (properly) this time.

I see no evil, hear no evil!

Black writing on the wall,

Unleashed the million faces,

And one by one they fall!

Black hearted hero,

Brave hearted hero,

I am all, I am all I am,

I…I…I…I am,

Here we go buddy,

Here we go buddy,

Here we go,

Here we go buddy,

Here we go!

Go ahead and try to see through me,

Do it if you dare,

One step forward, two steps back, I'm here!

(One step forward two steps back!)

Do it…do it…do it…DO IT!

Can you see all of me?

Walk into my mystery,

Step inside and hold on for dear life!

Do you remember me?

Capture you or set you free,

I am all, I am all of me

(I am all, I am all of me!)

I am…I am, I am all of me,

I am…I am, I am all of me,

I am…I am, I am all of me,

Here go…I am all of me!

"WOOT!" Swift shouted.

"TACOS!" Tachi added in randomly. Akemi just stared at them.

* * *

><p><em>Ooh…what will happen next? Why does Akemi have grey hair? Why does Tachi like tacos? Will I ever brush my hair? And will Shadow fail his epic quest?<em>

_Find out next time, on-_

Tachi: Shadow The Hedgehog: The Abridged Files!

_Except I don't feel like brushing my hair. ^_^_


	2. The Random Quest Begins!

_Not much to say._

Tachi: Swift doesn't own Digimon, or Sonic. She wishes she owned Kudamon, but that's not going to happen.

_If people don't get who Sammy is, he's the Commander. _

Tachi: Thanks to Lucy Labrador and Storm337 for reviewing! Keep 'em coming in!

* * *

><p>Chapter 2: The random quest begins!<p>

Back in the Fanfiction world, in the fictional front room with the fictional TV and fictional-you get the idea- Swift and the other OCs were playing Okami in Multiplayer mode. Okami with Multiplayer doesn't exist, but this is Fanfiction, and I wrote in the Multiplayer version because I CAN.

"Swift…can't we play Shadow The Hedgehog now?" Tachi complained, dropping her console. The author shrugged.

"Okay, then. But first, there's something I need to see…" Swift picked up a TV remote, and switched to the normal TV channels. A red scarf, waving in some imaginary wind with names of random actors on the show, came unto the screen as a sad, classical music piece started to play.

"NO! WE ARE NOT LOOKING AT JANE EYRE, FOR THE 15TH TIME!" Akemi screamed, intervening and snatching the remote away before the readers had English Literature GCSE heart attacks.

"But it's good…" Swift muttered.

"I don't care! I'm doing the Fanfiction world a favour!" Akemi tore the Okami CD out of the PS2, flung in Shadow The Hedgehog, and hid the remote before anyone could object.

"Stick in the mud…" Swift muttered. Akemi watched the intro play and realised something.

"Hey, that's my da-" he began to say.

"OH NO! QUICK, KNOCK HIM OUT BEFORE HE REVEALS ANY PLOT TWISTS! LIKE HE HAPPENS TO BE RELATED TO A CANON CHARACTER!" Tachi yowled, knocking Akemi out with a plushie of Amaterasu from Okami.

"Yes! And I'll start the fanfic before he wakes up!" Swift scrambled over to her Netbook.

* * *

><p>Some Random City<p>

Shadow screamed and flailed around as he was shot off the edge of a high building by an invisible launch pad. He activated his hover skates, and managed to dodge large blue lasers exploding around him.

"Just what's up with those aliens…?" He wondered, landing on the ground unhurt. As he continued down the main road, he walked right out into the crossfire of a raging war zone. There were flames all around, burning car wrecks and aliens smashing up people and vehicles, while GUN soldiers ran around like headless turkeys, and lasers rained down from above, blowing crap up.

"…I have my work cut out…" Shadow muttered.

"BLARG! BLARG!" An alien roared, throwing a poor random soldier past Shadow. The fluffy anti-hero managed to dodge out of the way, but the soldier brushed lightly against his fur ever so gently.

"AH! IT BURNS! A SOLDIER GOT ME!" Shadow yelled, rolling on the ground and dying from the contact.

"…Dude, there's no need to be a jerk, you know." The soldier grumbled, from nearby a burning car.

"Oh. Right." Shadow stopped having a dramatic death, and ran off deeper into the city, soon colliding with-

"HEY SHADOW, LONG TIME NO SEE!" Sonic greeted Shadow with a thumbs up and cocky grin.

"Oh…not you…" Shadow sighed.

"GUN need our help! There's aliens attacking people all over the city, so we need to defeat at least 45! Come on!"

"Aren't you going to listen to me?"

"No! We need to help those people!"

"I hate blue hedgehogs…"

Shadow went on with an hyperactive Sonic dancing behind him, and he immediately bumped into the octopus eye doomy thing.

"I AM DOOM'S EYE." It hissed.

"Doom's I? Why would anyone name their pet I? Here, kitty, kitty!" Sonic tried to pet the octopus, but poofed away in a bit of smoke.

"Hey! What did you do to him?" Shadow asked.

"I TELEPORTED HIM USING CHAOS CONTROL. NOW…I, DOOM'S EYE, SHALL WATCH YOU LIKE A ONE EYED EARTH HAWK…DON'T DO ANYTHING STRANGE, OR 'EYE'LL' OWN YOU. DID YOU SEE THE PUN? TROLOLOLOL." The eye went.

"You're just as bad as Sonic…" Shadow facepalmed.

"SHUSH. NOW, I WANT YOU TO KILL ALL OF THE GUN SOLDIERS IN THE AREA. NOW GO!" The levitating squid pointed ahead with his tentacles at the ruined road. Shadow growled as lasers shot down, blowing away bits of the pavement and making huge bottomless pits.

"Great…"

Shadow got through the laser fire safely, with most of his fur intact and smoking slightly. He shook the ash out of his pelt, and then noticed something.

A road sign lay broken on the road, wrenched out of the ground by an alien. It practically was begging Shadow to pick it up.

"…I feel a connection here. You shall be my new weapon of mass destruction and bad-assery." Shadow picked up the road sign, and fangirls all around the world swooned at the sight.

And then the hedgie was sent flying by an alien, to a group of GUN soldiers.

"Ow…why you little…we're on the same side!" Shadow growled, waving his sign and knocking out the soldiers with it. The giant scaly alien growled and charged him again, which was a bad idea.

"I HAVE HAD IT WITH THESE FREAKING ET WANNABES IN THIS CHAOS FORSAKEN CITY! CHAOS BLAST!" Shadow yelled, causing every alien in the area to combust into fiery bits. A giant goal ring descended down from the heavens, carrying a Chaos emerald, and it clonked Shadow in the head, making him pass out.

Meanwhile, else where at the GUN base, a soldier rushed into the computer room, where some old guy was standing. He seemed to be wearing a furry white scarf with a yellow pattern that resembled a circuit board for some reason. A soldier came running in.

"SIR! The black aliens with the black hawks and the black vehicles in the blacked out area in Black City are attacking!" He announced.

"…" The old dude went.

"Also, we saw some black rats, and Joe caught a black Zekrom, on Pokemon Black, but he landed on a black…" The soldier paused, unsure whether to continue.

"Go on, you were saying?"

"…There was a black AND red hedgehog sighted, BUT-" the soldier was interrupted by a yell.

"BLACK HEDGEHOG? SHADOW? HERE? NOT IN MY CITY, HE DOESN'T!"

"Yes, but-"

"KILL HIM AND KILL HIM PAINFULLY UNTIL HE'S DEAD!" The old dude yelled, making people jump and glare at him from their computers.

"But…isn't he…?"

"HE IS NOT ON OUR SIDE!"

"Sir, if I may interrupt…" a quiet and calm voice sounded. The old dude looked at the scarf, which was really a white ferret thingy with a yellow pattern on its back, long pointed ears, and an earring.

"What, Kudamon?"

"If I may suggest…maybe we should get this Shadow guy to join GUN. If he's been able to survive out there…" The ferret said.

"ABSOLUTELY FREAKING NOT!"

"…Fine, as you wish…Sammy." The ferret muttered.

"Hey…THAT'S A DIGIMON! WHAT IS IT DOING HERE?" The soldier exclaimed. Sammy shrugged.

"I don't know, some portal opened up and he came flying out of it…with some i-Pod thing…"

"I came for a holiday away from the foolishness of the DATS squad. And don't get me started on that Kurata…" Kudamon bristled his fur.

Meanwhile, in an entirely different universe all together, a teenage boy with an orange jacket and a lizard that looked like a miniature Tyrannosaurus Rex next to him, pounded a desk, making a crack appear in it.

"Why would Kudamon go like that?" He yelled. The guy sitting at the desk shrugged.

"He said he wanted a holiday away from people trying to kill him, or people asking him for advise."

"But the Digimon Data Squad is incomplete without him…"

"Sir yes sir." A blue dog with boxing gloves said randomly.

* * *

><p>Fanfiction Dimension<p>

Swift finished writing her chapter, as Akemi woke up. He opened his mouth to yell,

"SAMMY'S MY FATHER!"

"Why?" Swift facepalmed. Tachi sighed.

"I guess the cat's out of the bag now…or should I say, wolf or Siberian Husky?"

* * *

><p><em>And that brings us to the end of the chapter. Join us next time for more fluffy madness as Shadow chases after a tank, and Black Doom summons Black Bull Shi-<em>

Tachi: SWIFT! DON'T YOU DARE FINISH THAT PUN!

_Yeah…whatever…_


	3. Mountain Dew, writing fuel

_FINALLY! I'M BACK! I was grounded for a short while…but now I'm BACK IN ACTION! (Hopefully) Here's a chapter, that's rather long!_

Tachi: Thanks to all the reviewers! Swift doesn't own Shadow, Sonic, that rock, or Kudamon. Or even Sammy.

_I have a lot of Mountain Dew though!_

* * *

><p>Chapter 3: Mountain Dew, writing fuel!<p>

It was a rather boring Monday afternoon, in the unknown location we call the Fanfiction Dimension. Tachi was polishing some shiny items, Akemi was knocked out and stuffed under a pile of coursework for some reason, and Swift was playing Okami.

"AH HA! TAKE THAT, MR. EVIL GOLDFISH!" She yelled, punching the buttons on the PS2 controller and beating up whatever poor boss was on the screen.

"Don't you ever get tired of that game? I mean, it's just a wolf running around, saving the world, and getting no credit from ungrateful people until she nearly dies…" Tachi yawned, starting to polish a fake Chaos emerald she had stolen from someone.

"You can't get bored with this game! I still haven't completed some of the side quests, like the one where you have to feed all the animals, get the Stay Beads to get infinite health and ink, find all the secret brush techniques…"

"And how long is this going to take?"

"Oh, probably a month…" Swift stopped as she saw Tachi's annoyed expression.

"And I'll get on with the next chapter."

"Right, and remember…" Tachi loomed over the author, looking very dark and intimidating, and then she whispered,

"No swear words."

"Of course, Tachi…but I have a secret weapon…" The author smiled sweetly. The jackal OC cringed as she saw the girl's expression.

"I don't like that look on your face…" She began to say, before Swift started laughing evilly, her eyes twitching.

"I went shopping today! And I brought the ultimate weapon to end all Writer's Blocks…MOUNTAIN DEW!" She whipped out two bottles of Mountain Dew, and spun them in her hands, still cackling like a certain demon fox called Ninetails.

"Oh no you DIDN'T!" Tachi panicked.

"OH YES I DID!" Swift chugged down the Mountain Dew, and turned to her keyboard.

"SUGAR RUSH OVERDRIVE!" She screamed, typing the story insanely quick (with just one hand)

And that is why, you don't give some authors energy drinks.

* * *

><p>Shadow woke up, rather sleepily on a deserted road in the city. Of course, there were still aliens and GUN soldiers beating up each other, but let's ignore that and get back to Shadow. You know, because it's <em>his<em> game.

"Freaking Chaos…what happened?" He thought, rubbing his head and feeling a large bump on it.

"Oh yeah…that's right…that Goal Ring came flying out of nowhere and hit me on the head, along with the Chaos emerald. Wait, the Chaos emerald!" The dark hedgehog searched around frantically on the ground, and relaxed as he saw the emerald. He picked it up, and a random flute solo played, while orbs of Chaos energy spun around him, creating a pretty light show. He glared up at the sky.

"Swift, this isn't Okamiden, and I'm NOT Chibiterasu." He growled.

"_Sorry, sorry, couldn't help myself._"

"HEY SHADOW!" An annoying voice yelled. Shadow turned and saw Sonic, doing a cheesy pose. Somewhere, Amy was squealing like the fangirl she was.

"Oh great, you…"

"Nice job getting rid of those black aliens! But we have to chase down their tank now!"

"Do it yourself, hedgehog." Shadow turned and crossed his arms, ignoring Sonic, until Doom's Eye hovered along.

"WE HAVE RECOVERED THE CHAOS EMERALD IN THIS PART OF THE CITY. NOW GET YOUR BACKSIDE OUT OF HERE!" He said, not stopping.

"I guess that means…welcome to the next level!" Sonic grinned.

"No duh, faker."

Lethal Highway

The two hedgehogs looked down the vast highway, as the screaming and roaring continued.

"Why the heck do they call this Lethal Highway?" Shadow wondered.

"Because it's lethal." Sonic said simply.

"Oh, wait, look at that GUN soldier over there." They both watched as he drove up in a jeep, shouting something unclear.

And then the path blew up, sending the jeep down into a bottomless pit.

"Oh…so that's why they call it Lethal Highway. Figures."

"Shouldn't we help that guy?" Sonic asked.

"I'M OKAY!" The soldier yelled.

"See, he's fine, let's…huh?" Shadow looked up to see a large shiny tank with a glowing force field around it fly past.

"Oh wait! That's the tank we have to chase down and destroy! Come on!" Sonic raced off, and fell into a bottomless pit.

"Well, that takes care of my problems-Holy Chaos!" Shadow jumped as Sonic appeared next to him.

"Oh yeah, since I'm a measly side character, it means I have the power of Tails!"

"Hmm…" Shadow recalled a memory.

Shadow's flashback

Sonic and his fluffy sidekick, Tails, were running through a level with deadly robots, spikes that appeared out of thin air, and…flashy checkpoints. The blue blur soon slowed down as he came to a bridge with snapping metal piranhas waiting in the river below.

"SNAP!" One went, jumping up. Sonic turned to Tails.

"Buddy…it's at times like this we have to make small…cuts! Yeah, cuts…" He hinted. Tails just growled, and walked across the bridge, attracting the attention of the fish.

"Thanks, Tails!" Sonic called over his shoulder as he ran off. Tails pulled a piranha chewing down on his ear.

"Sure Sonic…you wait until Shadow gets his own game…" He muttered darkly.

*End of flashback*

"HEY! THAT'S MY FLASHBACK! GET YOUR OWN!"

"Hmm…maybe you are useful after all…blue faker…" Shadow smirked evilly, picturing the many possibilities.

"Hey…why are you smiling like that…?"

A few seconds later, the driver of the tank slowed down.

"Blarg, rawr, blarg." He sighed, getting out some Fanta. If none of the readers can speak Black Arms, the translation was, 'I think I've lost them.'

…Or, 'I'm a little cupcake.' You can never tell really, since the language of the Black Arms is so complex, with the 'blargs' and 'rawrs'.

A scream outside made the Black Arms alien scroll down his window, and look outside.

And then he saw a struggling blue hedgehog, screaming as another black hedgehog, charged straight at the tank, carrying the unfortunate blue hedgehog like a battering ram.

"BLARG!" The alien roared in shock, spilling the Fanta over the controls.

"EPIC AWESOME BAD-ASS BATTERING RAM OF CHAOS!" Shadow shouted, slamming Sonic head first into the tank.

You may think that hurt Sonic. Not in the slightest. If you can learn from Sonic games, it's Sonic must have a iron skull to survive falling out the sky on his face so many times. Yup, bones of iron. Or it could be the gaming universe, laws of physics and stuff.

Needless to say, the tank was blown up like a firework on New Year's Eve. Shadow dropped Sonic, and did a victory pose.

"I am one step closer to gaining my memories…" He announced, as Sonic managed a weak thumbs up towards the invisible camera. This time, the Goal Ring stayed where it was, but the spiky pair were teleported to a deserted part of the city. There, Doom's Eye waited for them, looking very…menacing. If squid eye aliens can look scary. Probably.

"YOU HAVE DISOBEYED MY ORDERS AGAIN, SHADOW!" He boomed in a loud angry voice. Shadow got up and brushed himself off.

"Yeah. I've decided…I'm going to find the answers to my past _myself._ I do not need some evil alien warlord to make me his puppet, and bribe me with pizza! Now, hand over that Chaos emerald you took!"

"SO…YOU'VE DECIDED TO GO HERO PATH? THINK OF THE PIZZA…THINK OF THE TOMATO SAUCE…AND THINK OF…MARIA!"

"Don't do it Shads!" Sonic yelled from the ground.

"Maria? Hmm…that name sounds familiar…" As Shadow went off into another flashback, Doom's Eye laughed.

"NOW, I WILL SUMMON MY PET TO TEACH YOU WRETCHED CREATURES A LESSON…" The squid summoned a paintbrush out of nowhere, and drew what looked like a circle with random drawings and shapes on the ground.

"Erm…is that a summoning circle?" Sonic asked.

"YES. TO ADD TO THE MOOD." Doom's Eye finished drawing the circle, and slammed his tentacles into the ground, making it glow.

"Oh great! Now you're ripping off Fullmetal Alchemist, with that short guy!"

"WHO CALLED ME SHORTER THAN ROY MUSTANG'S MINI SKIRT?" A voice screamed faintly in another universe. Doom's Eye finished the summoning (finally) and a giant…monstrosity…poofed in out of nowhere. Shadow snapped out of his trance and looked at the thing. He wasn't sure what it was, but it was huge, resembled a fat maggot with a lot of blubber, with a glittering eye and tiny wings, that seemed to defy physics again.

"ROAAARR!" It roared, making the place shake.

"THIS IS BLACK BULL. HE'LL BURN YOU TO ASHES! MUHAHAHA-" Doom's Eye was interrupted by Shadow.

"You're right, this is a load of bull crap! Who CALLED that thing Black Bull? It's a FLYING TUB OF LARD WITH WINGS, DAMN IT!"

"….ROOOOAAAAARRRR!" Black Bull went, obviously insulted.

"HMM…I THINK I'M GOING TO DISTANCE MYSELF FROM THIS CITY NOW. YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE CALLED BLACK BULL FAT. IF YOU DO DEFEAT HIM, HE SWALLOWED THE CHAOS EMERALD."

"Alright! Bring it on!" Sonic punched the air as Black Bull roared again.

Boss Battle: Black Bull

"…Crap." Shadow finished the sentence. The flying blubber ball glared at him, and started shooting flames out of his mouth. Sonic turned to Shadow.

"Okay, since the side character rules are clear, I don't help you with this fight! Instead, I distract you with advice!" He launched into a full scale explanation of Black Bull's weaknesses, while Shadow facepalmed.

"Yes, yes, I know…aim for the eye…"

"Now, I'm going to run after you and repeat that advice, as you lose your rings!"

"Why? Why Chaos?"

"ROOOAAAAR!" Black Bull shot a fireball at Shadow, causing him to lose ten of his rings.

"So, you want to fight, huh…? CHAOS CONTROL!" Shadow yelled. Time completely stopped, turning the place into a strange world full of trippy colours. He then summoned his trusty road sign out of that mysterious space, and rammed the flying fatso in the eye.

"BLARG!" The alien squealed, landing on the ground, dead. Shadow pulled out the road sign, and returned time to normal.

"So, you use the homing attack…YAY, WE BEAT HIM!" Sonic celebrated.

"Yeah…now, how do we get the Chaos emerald?"

Suddenly, Black Bull exploded, showering Shadow and Sonic with bad smelling slime. Because dead fat people tend to explode sometimes. It's a fact.

"…Not a word to anyone…" Shadow growled murderously, holding the missing Chaos emerald.

"Maybe this stuff will act like Amy repellent…" Sonic said hopefully.

"SONIKKU!"

"Or maybe not…See you later, Shads!" Sonic ran off, chased by Amy. Shadow noticed another object on the ground. It was a large white pebble, roughly the same size as a Chaos emerald. He picked it up.

"I can sense power in this stone…I'll keep it. Just in case."

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, in the well off area of the city, that HAD NOT been hit by the Black Arms, some important guy looked out of his window.<p>

"Tell the Commander that we'll never surrender to terrorists!" He said, to the secretary.

"I did…he said, he knows that, and he told you to stop looking so emo all the time, because he hates emo guys. Especially the ones that have black fur, and red stripes." The woman replied back.

"Right…"

Elsewhere, Kudamon was trying to teach Sammy the art of Digivolution.

"Come on, it's not hard. All you have to say is 'DNA, CHARGE! ULTIMATE EVOLUTION!" He pleaded. The Commander gave him a dirty look.

"No. No way. What do you think this is, an ANIME? FREAKING SAILOR MOON? NARUTO?"

"No…"

"Who watches Digimon Data Squad here anyway? It's crap-" Sammy yelled as a giant demon fox with white fur, red markings and a mask landed on him out of nowhere, courtesy of the author getting offended by his insulting of Digimon Data Squad.

"…Did I land on someone?" She asked.

"No, Ninetails, you didn't." Kudamon said, ignoring the muffled swearing.

* * *

><p>Fanfiction Dimension<p>

Tachi watched as Swift collapsed on her Netbook. Akemi was still buried under the coursework, but he was trying his best to get free.

"After a sugar rush, comes a sugar crash…" Swift muttered.

"Phew…I mean, how sad." Tachi dreaded to think what would have happened if Swift had three bottles of Mountain Dew.

"…Luckily, I have another one!" Swift picked up another bottle, while Tachi facepalmed.

_Just what is that strange stone Shadow picked up? Who is the important guy? Will Sammy ever say something cheesy as that Digimon catchphrase? And will I ever get over using Mountain Dew as writing fuel? I think not. People who play Pokémon Black or White…you'll be able to guess what the stone is all about!_


	4. Fangirl wars, Crowmon appears!

_It's time for a chapter of awesomeness! (fuelled by Mountain Dew, kinda)_

Tachi: Once again, thanks to all the reviewers! We appreciate the reviews coming in, as Swift uses them as writing fuel too!

_Yup. So keep reviewing!_

Disclaimer: Look, I obviously DON'T own Sonic. If I did, then Maria would be a main character, Tails would be a nine tailed fox, and Shadow would rule all. I don't own Digimon, or any of the references in here, except for my OCs.

WARNING: The following chapter was written while on a sugar high. We strongly apologise to any Twilight fans reading this. TEAM DARK FTW. Please don't kill me.

* * *

><p>Chapter 4: Fangirl wars, Crowmon appears!<p>

Somewhere, in the game universe, where the majority of this fic is set, something was stirring in the shadows.

…You know, that's totally a Pokemon Mystery Dungeon reference. But I digress.

A group of sinister looking…teenage girls, stalked out from the shade of a tall building. The leader, a girl carrying a shovel and a Twilight book, turned to the other girls, her hair blowing in the wind.

"Team Jacob are at Circus Park…they've challenged us to a fight. Let us go, and prove that Team Edward is the way to go!" She shouted.

"YEAH! DOWN WITH TEAM JACOB! WE DON'T GET DOWN WITH WOLVES! EDWARD AND BELLA BELONG TOGETHER! TEAM EDWARD, FOREVER AND FOREVER!" The team chanted. Their leader turned around, a grin on her face.

Else where, Shadow had reached Circus Park, a place with flashy lights, signs that said, 'Eggman, supreme emperor, was here!' and giant levitating ball things.

"Where's that DAMN fourth Chaos emerald?" Shadow wondered, running though the level. The sound of an engine running attracted his attention, and he looked up to see a fluffy fox kit flying a plane.

"Whoa! It's Eggman's theme park! He built it out of all the rings in the world! Instead of actually helping Sonic and the others defeat the black aliens, I'll annoy Shadow, and get him to collect four hundred rings for me!" Tails shouted, loudly enough for Shadow to hear.

"OH NO YOU DON'T! GIVE ME YOUR CHAOS EMERALD!" Shadow yelled, pointing at Tails.

"If you collect the rings for me, while I do nothing!"

"What do you think I am, the Ultimate Servant to mortals? I'll just take your Chaos emerald…it shouldn't impact on the Hero path too much." Shadow was about to punch down the plane, when a grey map slowly drifted down out of the sky.

"What's this crap?"

"_It's a map of the storyline! You're here_." The author somehow marked Circus Park on the map with a shining yellow circle.

"And what does this have to do with the Hero path?"

"_Well, if you don't help Tails, you'll be sent here, to Hang Castle._" A picture of a ghost appeared on the map, laughing insanely.

"Join us Shadow…Join us…You are welcome…welcome to spend your life with us…" The ghost said in the creepy voice of Jason. Shadow quickly ripped up the map, set it on fire, put the fire out, and fed the ashes to Ninetails.

"I'll do your stupid quest, Tails…" He muttered, wishing he had picked the Dark path. It was so much easier to do the Dark path. Just blow stuff up, demolish a city with innocent people, side with Black Doom, and he got to own Sammy and Sonic at the end. Awesome.

"_Well, since I hate this level of the game, I'm arranging a little distraction…_" Swift said mysteriously.

"Why do I feel worried?"

"Come on Shadow, let's go!" Tails called. The pair headed deeper into the theme park, only to make a shocking discovery.

Robots and GUN soldiers were fleeing for their lives, as two groups of girls faced off. One girl had a black t-shirt with a wolf paw print, that said, 'Runs with wolves' while the leader of the other group had Cedric Diggory-I mean, Edward Cullen, plastered on her top in all his shiny glory.

"_Yup, this is the distraction!_" Swift declared proudly.

"Twilight fangirls?"

"_Yeah. Enjoy!_"

The Edward fangirl stepped up to the other girl, clutching her shovel.

"If it isn't Team Mutt…" She hissed, sounding very much like a vampire.

"And Team Angst…Are you ready to end this, Mary-Sue?" The Team Jacob fangirl asked.

"Yeah…may the best team win! FOR EDWARD, AND FOR CANON PAIRINGS!" The two rival team charged at each other, and it just occurred to Shadow to dive for cover. He knew only too well what happened when rabid fangirls fought each other. Tails remained where he was, hypnotised by the epicness of the battle, and he was immediately trampled on by raging and screaming fans.

"WE WILL STAND AND FIGHT!" A Team Jacob fan screamed, slamming her Twilight novel into some poor random's face. Music from the 300 trailer began to play, as the battle raged on. The leader of Team Edward whacked an enemy fangirl in the face with her shovel, but ended up cornered by the other leader.

"You threaten my team with extinction and misery!" She yelled.

"Well, too bad!"

"This is blasphemy! This is madness!"

"Madness? THIS IS SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG! THE GAME!" The Team Edward fangirl screamed, Falcon Punching the other girl in the face. Then there was a huge explosion, and everything was gone.

"…Someone needs to wean Swift off Mountain Dew…" Shadow sighed, picking up the Chaos emerald.

Thank StarClan I didn't have to write that stage.

* * *

><p>Anyhow, somewhere, sometime, in the GUN base, people were still working their backsides off at computers while Kudamon and Sammy concentrated on being epic. Blech.<p>

"Sir! The black aliens have been driven out of the city!" a soldier called.

"Excellent."

A guitar riff, courtesy of Akemi, sounded, with flashy lights.

"Someone has to go sort out that author…" Kudamon muttered.

"We've chased the aliens into the Death Ruins!"

"…Thanks to Shadow." Kudamon muttered. Sammy just ignored him.

"Any news on Shadow?" He asked.

"Yes, he's in the forest, beating the crap out of the aliens sir!"

"Well…GET THE MISSILE LAUNCHERS, AND BLOW HIM TO BITS! ALONG WITH THE ALIENS! MAKE SURE YOU DO IT PROPERLY!" Sammy yelled. The soldier nodded, and ran off.

"Why do you hate this guy so much? He's on our side if he's fighting the aliens…" Kudamon mumbled.

"He's evil…I'll have my revenge against him…"

Kudamon sighed, thinking he should have gone on holiday in a more peaceful location.

"_Cough, hack, Knights Templar Douche."_ Swift coughed somewhere.

"YOU WANT TO INSULT ME TO MY FACE?"

"Oops…" The author grabbed a cardboard box, and hid in it for the rest of the story.

So, to cut a long story short, Shadow got through the forest, with Rouge constantly buttering him up with complements all the way, and they eventually reached Doom's Eye, who was waiting for them on a rock.

"…YOU'VE FINALLY ARRIVED…I'VE BEEN WAITING ON THIS ROCK FOR DAYS! DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT'S BEEN?" He raged.

"I don't care…at least I'M not losing to some measly humans." Shadow said.

"AH, TOUCHE. WELL, YOU NEED YOUR REST FOR THE RITUAL TOMORROW…."

"Tomorrow?" Shadow asked.

"Tomorrow?" Rouge gasped.

"EXCELLENT!" Two random GUN soldiers yelled, making the guitar solo play again. They were both eaten by aliens.

"YES…IN THE MEANTIME…BLACK BULL, I SUMMON YOU!" Doom's Eye rumbled. A familiar flying maggot appeared behind him, wearing many plasters and a hat for some reason.

"Hold on, didn't I defeat him already?" Shadow asked Doom's Eye, who just waved his tentacles.

"YOU MAY THINK YOU HAVE. HE WAS KNOCKED OUT."

"He exploded. Over me and that blue faker."

"OH YEAH…ERM…WELL, JUST CALL IT A ONE OFF, OKAY? PLAY NICE NOW, KIDS!" Doom's Eye quickly flew off before anyone could point out his mistake. Black Bull stared at Shadow with an 'I'm gonna eat you!' look, and the boss fight started.

"Now I know why you're called the Ultimate Lifeform." Rouge declared. Shadow stared at her, his eye twitching.

"Okay, say that one more time, and see what happens."

One point five seconds later, Rouge was somehow tied to a tree branch, with tape on her mouth, while Shadow beat up Black Bull for the second time this week.

But this is an old boss fight. So we'll just use the power of filler here.

* * *

><p>Fanfiction Dimension<p>

Swift carefully tipped the coffee out of her window, grabbed her lunchbox, and jumped as an angry Sammy stormed in, with Kudamon just about managing to cling onto his back.

"WE HAVE A SCORE TO SETTLE!" He yelled. The author gulped.

Which just means, you don't insult GUN commanders while they're in hearing range. They'll go commando on you.

"WAIT! AUTHOR SUMMONING NO JITSU!" She shouted, summoning a orange device that looked like an I-pod. A large bird wearing a vest, fell out of a portal.

"Who dares call me from the Digimon world?" He shouted.

"I do! Since I don't have any more ideas, and my Mountain Dew fury is used up, I'm using the power of improvisation!" Swift shouted.

"Why did I have to be in this story…" Kudamon muttered.

"DNA CHARGE! GO, CROWMON!" The author yelled, slamming her hand on the I-pod. The bird blinked in shock, and turned into a huge bad ass crow, with bells, black feathers and three legs….yes, three legs and golden drills on his wings.

"FALCOMON, DIGIVOLVE TO…CROWMON!" Crowmon called, flapping his wings.

"…Kudamon, can't you Digivolve already?" Sammy asked hopefully.

"No. I advise you run. Before Crowmon gets you with Emperor Claw."

"…Crap."

"EMPEROR CLAW!"

And the day was saved by Crowmon, and his bad ass ringing bells!

_Huff, puff…There, I typed. A rushed chapter, but it'll get better…review, and you'll get a plushie of Crowmon! _

Tachi:…¬_¬….

_Next time: Shadow has a major flashback, and we hopefully cover one of the longest, most fiendish levels in the game…_


	5. The level to end all levels!

_I'm back, with more abridged stuff of Shadow the Hedgehog! I was thinking of doing the Dark Brotherhood, but that game's boring. I have a GCSE Maths exam on Wednesday…which means I must shake off this random mindset, and revise!_

Sammy: And you're doing a good job so far…*cough* Not.

_Who asked you?_

* * *

><p>Chapter 5: The level to end all levels!<p>

Fanfiction Dimension

In the sunny place of the Fanfiction Dimension, where authors roamed, and here be OCs, Swift was playing Shadow the Hedgehog again on the PS2. Tachi was out 'borrowing' a shiny item from some poor jeweller, and Akemi had started training for some reason.

"Why did I let myself be talked into this?" He yelled, struggling underneath a pair of heavy weights. Swift concentrated, and used her logic warping powers to get her cat, Tsume to move the weights.

"Whew, thanks."

"Mew." Tsume stalked off to terrorise a flock of pigeons. Let it be said, he isn't actually the author's cat. Oh, and he's named after a dude on Wolf's Rain that could make Shadow cry out of bad ass envy.

"Why are you training anyway?" Swift asked.

"Well…if I train, I'll get to join GUN! And if I join GUN, I can take over my dad's job, and if I do that, they won't be so useless all the time!" Akemi announced.

* * *

><p>GUN base<p>

"Hey Kudamon…I think someone's after my job!" Sammy panicked.

"Oh, ignore it." Kudamon sighed.

* * *

><p>Fanfiction Dimension<p>

"You do know you'll have to get a haircut, right?" Swift asked. Akemi turned pale, and smoothed down his shaggy hair.

"No…it's supposed to be long…no one touches the hair…" He whispered.

"How do you even see anyway?"

"Echolocation. I'm colour blind."

"Right…" Swift turned back to her game, and her eyes widened.

"Oh no…" She breathed.

"What?"

"I'm on the ARK level…"

"…May Maria help you." Akemi sighed. Anyone who tried passing the level would soon end up as a sobbing ball on the floor, or so frustrated they quit the game, and went to punch a pillow.

"But she DOESN'T!"

Many seconds later, Swift was so annoyed by the level, Reimaru the demon fox poofed into existence, and blew up a wall with his powers, while shouting, 'PENGUIN!'

RIP, wall, 2011. We'll miss you.

* * *

><p>Shadow was standing in a random location, somewhere. He had defeated Black Bull for good this time, Rouge had wandered off muttering about Ultimate Lifeforms, and he had one more Chaos emerald.<p>

"Maybe I should be helping Black Doom after all…I mean, he has the key to Domino's and my forgotten past…" He mused.

"HEY SHADOW!" A familiar obnoxious voice shouted.

"…Not you again…seriously, didn't you get caught by Amy a few chapters back?" Shadow sighed, turning to face the blue hedgehog, standing on a flying spaceship.

"No…"

"What crap are you doing this time?"

"Well, those black creatures-"

"Black Arms."

"Whatever, have gone to space! We're going to the ARK, so I guess that means we're going to!" Sonic said cheerfully. Shadow turned to glare at the author, while crickets chirped.

"Don't you notice anything strange about what you just wrote?"

"_That's what he said in the game! Maybe he meant that you were going with him to the ARK as well, with the other dudes?"_ Swift suggested.

"Hmm…"

"COME ON! Let's go already!" Sonic insisted. Shadow nodded, and got unto the ship, and it flew off into outer space.

Five seconds later, Shadow noticed a Chaos emerald sitting in a case. No, really, Sonic and company left out the Chaos emerald in plain sight.

"Seriously? They're just begging me to take it! It's like stealing candy from a baby!" Shadow punched the glass, and took out the emerald, the logic warping powers of his game making sure his hand didn't end up with shards sticking out of it. An alarm started going off, cue flashy lights.

"Oh, that's why they left the Chaos emerald out…it was powering the ship…" Shadow realised. Then his eyes misted over.

"Hmm…alarms…reminds me of that day on the ARK…" He went off into a flashback, as stuff exploded around him, and the Sonic Crew tried to get it under control.

Which begs the question…why would anyone have a memory flashback, while they're on a ship that's about to crash or something like that?

* * *

><p>WARNING: <em>The following level takes place in a flashback. Yes, with bad lighting, blurriness, and muffled sound. If you're affected by any of this, see Reimaru. Of course he won't try to take your soul…no, we can guarantee he won't try to eat you as well.<em>

Shadow stood in some location, probably the ARK, while alarms went off.

"_I'm not sure what's happening here…maybe if I stay here, someone will come…_" Shadow stayed where he was, until he heard footsteps behind him. He turned around, and found himself looking into blue eyes.

"Maria?" He wondered. Said girl grabbed his hand.

"SHADOW! The Artificial Chaos, AKA blue blobs of levitating water, are attacking! You have to defeat them!" Maria said desperately.

"…Doesn't that go against your code or something like that?"

"Erm, it does. But when I tried to talk to one of them, they went 'Blarg' and attacked me! I don't think they speak English. Look, use these darts to knock them out!" Maria gave Shadow a dart gun.

"That's what I thought…"

So, the search for the watery blobs began. Shadow shot down one that was creeping up on him, and it became a wet puddle.

"You know, their eyes…they look so sad…" Maria sighed.

"…They don't have eyes." Shadow pointed to a blob, which was repeatedly ramming itself into a wall. Finally, it gave up and became another puddle on the floor.

"Oh yeah, by the way, there's like thirty two Chaos blobs floating around. So we have to knock them all out!" Maria said cheerfully. Shadow ran up to a wall, and started hitting his head against it.

"Don't worry, we'll find someone to help us!"

"Says you…" Shadow muttered. They continued on, Shadow shooting down the pesky blobs, while Maria gave support. They eventually reached a large room with a cannon, and several GUN soldiers being beaten up by Artificial Chaos.

"Quick! We better help them!" Maria said, rushing forward. One soldier turned, and took out a knife as soon as he saw Shadow.

"It's that rabid hedgehog!" He screamed, charging at Shadow. The other soldiers joined in. Shadow managed to hide behind the cannon, while Maria peeked over it.

"Okay, maybe we should avoid them…" She muttered.

"They just tried to stab us!" Shadow yelled.

"_In East London, the correct term would be 'shank'! I hope I'm not offending anyone!_" The author shouted randomly.

"Swift, stay out of this."

"Yeah, this is a flashback!"

After defeating the Chaos creatures, the pair continued to the next room, where the blobs had cornered a kid who was swearing, and throwing cups of coffee at them.

"…Is that who I think it is?" Shadow asked Maria.

"Yes! Now, please help him!"

Shadow quickly shot down the blobs attacking the boy, and walked over to him.

"…" The kid went, staring at Shadow.

"…Hey, you have odd eyes, and grey hair! What kind of kid has grey hair?" Shadow asked.

"…I don't know." The kid replied. Somewhere, Akemi was heard swearing loudly at Shadow, but the dark hedgehog ignored him.

"Hi, Chibi Sammy!" Maria shouted.

"Wait, wait, this kid's Sammy?" Shadow sniggered.

"Yeah. To avoid confusion, with future Sammy, we'll call him Chibi Sammy."

"…I like coffee." Chibi Sammy said.

"I think we guessed that." Shadow sighed, wondering what made Sammy so crazy in the future.

"…And I like MACHINE GUNS! WEAPONS FTW! LET'S BLOW SOME STUFF UP, WOOP!" Chibi Sammy yelled, waving a machine gun he somehow summoned out of nowhere.

"…" Shadow looked at Maria with a questioning look on his face. She just shrugged.

"I blame the TV, and too much coffee." She said.

"Who gives an eight year old coffee?"

"I don't know…"

So, the three musketeers, I mean random kids and angst ridden anti hero, started on their quest again.

Cue many hours of writing, angry Shadow, Maria saying she got lost often in the ARK, and Chibi Sammy trying to steal weapons when Shadow wasn't looking. Oh, and a really sad flashback.

_Here, the author refuses to write the sad flashback, because this is an abridged story, she doesn't write sad stuff well, and…well, it scarred her for life, causing her to look at kids called Maria in her school funny. Sorry, Maria._

*end of long flashback chapter*

* * *

><p>"…So, that's my past…" Shadow muttered. He was running down a path with Sonic (do not question video game logic!) when the blue blur stopped.<p>

"Shadow, look!" He pointed out of a window at a large comet zooming past.

"…That's where Black Doom and his army are. I can feel it somehow…" Shadow mumbled, holding his head as a light pain went through it.

"Well, I guess it's time to own some aliens!" Sonic shouted. The pair headed to the Black Comet, possibly the last level on the hero path.

* * *

><p>Black Doom watched with his all seeing eye, as the hedgehogs ran through his comet, beating up aliens.<p>

"MUHAHAHAHA…THOSE IDIOTS DON'T STAND A CHANCE. COME, DOOM'S EYE, STALK THEM THOUGH THE LEVEL!" He said in his creepy echoed voice, as Doom's eye flew off to stalk, I mean, follow the hedgehogs.

_And this brings us to the end of the Hero path. NO NEUTRAL PATH TODAY! I'm not writing it, it's crap._

_So, will Sonic and Shadow defeat Black Doom? Will they complete the story path? Tune in next time! _


	6. End of the path

_Another new chapter! Updates were slow because my mum has my Netbook, so I can only use it while she's out. I know, I'm bad. I don't listen to the rules, I run in the corridors in school, I rustle pages in the library, and I go into restricted areas!_

Tachi: Swift doesn't actually run in the corridors though.

_Yup._

Disclaimer: _AIM! READY! FIRE!_ *shoots it with a machine gun*

Sammy: HEY! THAT'S MY GUN! OH NO YOU DIDN'T!

_Oops. Enjoy the last chapter of the Hero Path!_

* * *

><p>Chapter 6: End of the line<p>

Gaming world (wherever that is)

Shadow and Sonic had started exploring Black Doom's comet, which I think is called the Black Comet. Shock horror.

"The alien leader should be at the centre of the comet, Shadow!" Sonic cried enthusiastically.

"How do you know that?" Shadow asked.

"Because….I DO!"

"Fine, I won't argue with that."

The pair continued deeper into the comet, and ran into some rather fierce looking Black Arms soldiers, who roared and pointed their guns at the two hedgehogs. Shadow sighed, and sweatdropped.

"We may not be on the same side, but maybe I could persuade them somehow…" He said, walking up to the aliens.

"BLARG!" The leader growled, aiming his alien pistol thing that looked like something from the future, at Shadow's head. The anti hero decided to improvise quickly, and started to speak the Black Arms language.

"Blarg, blarg, blarg!" He shouted. The leader muttered something to his friend next to him, and then nodded.

"Blarg, blarg, blarg?" He asked. Shadow thought quickly.

"Blarg, blarg…blarg BLARG!" He replied, hoping he said the right thing. The leader nodded again, and knelt before Shadow.

Of course, to translate what the aliens were saying...the leader asked Shadow if he was related to Black Doom, and Shadow said yes. In a nutshell. At least, I don't have Black Arms spell check on my computer. Nor can Google Translate figure it out. Because Google Translate's useless already.

"Woah, Shads! You got him to side with us!" Sonic exclaimed.

"Yeah, yeah…it should be easier to get through this blasted comet now."

And the hedgehogs, with the fooled team of aliens, ran further into the comet, blasting and owning many aliens and GUN robots out of the way. Don't ask me how the robots got there. However, they failed to notice a certain eye squid thing stalking, ahem, FOLLOWING behind them.

"SHADOW! THERE IS STILL A CHANCE TO SWITCH TO THE DARK PATH! EVEN THOUGH YOU'VE REMAINED HERO SO FAR! ACTIVATE THE SHIELDS AROUND THE BLACK COMET, AND YOU WILL GET YOUR PIZZA!" Doom's Eye boomed. Shadow just lifted his hand, and lazily punched the floating squid into a wall.

"CURSES! YOU HAVEN'T HEARD THE LAST OF ME!"

"That idiot…he should have realised now there's no way I'm joining him." Shadow sighed.

Since there's nothing funny to write about the Black Comet, the author decided to stop stalling, and did a timeskip. No, she wasn't lazy…

"SHADOW. OTHER HEDGEHOG I CANNOT REMEMBER. THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE TO JOIN ME…OR I WILL DESCEND ON YOU WITH VERY PAINFUL CONSEQUENCES!" He roared. Shadow boldly stepped up to the hovering war lord.

"Black Doom…I would accept your offer…but this isn't the right thing! Maria told me to protect the world, not take it over!"

"AND WE ARE PROTECTING THE WORLD. BY SAVING IT FROM THE HUMANS WHO EXPLOIT IT. THINK OF THE ANIMALS, SHADOW!" Black Doom pointed out.

"Yesterday, I saw one of your soldiers snacking on a KITTEN."

"AH. NO POINT APPEALING TO YOUR SOFT SIDE THEN. IT IS FOOLISH THAT YOU'RE TAKING ORDERS FROM A GIRL WHO DIED LIKE, FIFTY YEARS AGO."

"I'm not going to listen to you! You may be related to me in some way I can't reveal yet to the readers of this story, but they probably know already, but where were you when I was locked in a freezing capsule for fifty years, huh?" Shadow crossed his arms.

"AH…ERM…" Black Doom stuttered nervously.

*Flashback to fifty years ago*

A younger Black Doom was sunning himself out on a sandy beach somewhere on his planet, wearing a pair of sunglasses. A Black Arms soldier ran up.

"BLARG! BLARG BLARG BLARG!" He yelled, hopping up and down.

"WHAT'S THAT? THAT HEDGEHOG I HELPED CREATE GOT CAUGHT BY THE HUMAN MILITARY, AND IS FREEZING IN SUSPENDED ANIMATION SOMEWHERE?"

"Blarg."

"WELL, I'LL GET UP. MAYBE IN A YEAR OR SO. OR MAYBE FIFTY YEARS. YOU KNOW HOW BEING AN ALIEN WAR LORD CAN BE TIRING YOU KNOW. NOW PUT SOME SUN LOTION ON MY HORNS, YOU PATHETIC WORM!"

*Present time*

"AH…I WAS VERY BUSY, SAVING A DYING WORLD AND ALL THAT." Black Doom crossed his three fingers behind his back, hoping Shadow would believe him. Sadly, Shadow didn't.

"Sure you were…it is on NOW, Black Doom!" Shadow snarled, getting ready to fight. He turned to look at Sonic and the others.

"You'll back me up-huh?" The black hedgehog stared, seeing a dust cloud.

"IT LOOKS LIKE THOSE MORONS HAVE DESERTED YOU. I'LL GET RID OF YOU NOW!" Black Doom hovered over to Shadow.

Final Boss: Black DOOM!

Shadow dodged around Chaos spears and other flying stuff (like an armchair for some reason) being thrown at him. Black Doom hovered higher into the air.

"EN GARDE, SWIFT STRIKE!" He ordered. Nothing happened.

"I SAID, EN GARDE, SWIFT STRIKE!"

"_OKAY, OKAY! I heard you the first time!_" Swift yelled. Piles of coursework, clothes (hopefully not dirty) and cookies began flying out of nowhere at Shadow.

"What the heck Swift? I thought you weren't supposed to take sides! You're an author, you shouldn't be biased!" Shadow growled, dodging a stack of English test papers.

"_Well, Doomy here kinda bribed me with a box of cookies. And they're fudge chocolate cookies too…yum…_"

Sensing he wasn't going to get anywhere with the wayward teenage author, Shadow turned his attention to Akemi, because Tachi was still out.

"AKEMI! GET THE KEYBOARD OFF HER!"

"You're going to owe me, Shadow…" Akemi muttered. There was a moment's silence, and then some shouting.

"_KEEP AWAY FROM MY KEYBOARD, BEFORE I SMITE THEE WITH MY LUNCHBOX!_" Swift shouted. Some sounds of fighting could be heard in the background, and Black Doom stopped trying to kill Shadow for a minute to listen.

"OUCH. IT SOUNDS LIKE SHE'S WINNING…" He cringed as a loud crash was heard.

"No, wait…I think I can hear Akemi getting the dinner plates…" Shadow winced as he heard the shattering of glass, and Swift swearing in French.

* * *

><p>Fanfiction dimension.<p>

Swift was hiding behind the sofa, while a very hacked off Akemi threw plates.

"I didn't mean to hit you with my lunchbox!" She yelled.

"Oh, sure you didn't!" Akemi took hold of a heavy frying pan that looked familiar.

"WHAT IN AMATERASU'S NAME IS GOING ON HERE?" A female voice bellowed. The fighting stopped, and Akemi and Swift turned their heads to the doorway to see an annoyed teenage girl.

"He started it." Swift pointed at Akemi.

"What do you mean, I started it? You're not supposed to take bribes!" Akemi yelled back.

"I DON'T CARE WHO STARTED IT! I'm finishing this chapter…" The mysterious girl muttered, taking the Netbook away from the author. She also snatched away the frying pan Akemi was holding.

* * *

><p>Gaming Dimension<p>

The boss fight continued, with Shadow losing many of his rings, and Black Doom laughing in triumph. Just as the alien warlord was about to kill Shadow with a meteor strike, some sunlight shone down from the heavens, and a white wolf appeared.

"…WHAT FOOLISHNESS IS THIS?" Black Doom wondered, pausing his attack.

"Arf." The wolf went. She walked up to the fearsome alien…

And started beating the crap out of him with almighty kung-fu skills.

"What…the…heck?" Shadow just stared at the strange sight, as the wolf defeated Black Doom without so much as a scratch, and did a victory howl.

"SHADOW…YOU AND THAT BLASTED WHITE WOLF MAY HAVE BEATEN ME, BUT THE BLACK ARMS WILL RISE AGAIN…" Doom growled from the floor.

"Finally, it's over…I don't know who you are, but thanks anyway." Shadow nodded to the wolf, who barked happily. Out of the blue, seven Chaos emeralds flew down, and circled around Shadow.

"I have all seven Chaos emeralds…" He smirked.

"Good job, Shads!" Sonic shouted, doing a thumbs up. Shadow turned around and realised Sonic had crept back.

"I am Shadow the Hedgehog…AND I'M GOING TO OWN YOUR ASS, SONIC!" Shadow snarled, his eyes glowing red.

"Oh crap…" Sonic gulped as the furious hedgehog approached him. The wolf huffed and shook her head, and was about to go back to the heavens, when she sensed something and growled. A cloud of darkness flew down between Shadow and Sonic, and turned into a demonic looking black wolf…puppy.

"…You know, the puppy's quite cute…" Shadow said, stroking the wolf.

"ARE YOU CRAZY SHADOW! LOOK AT HOW EVIL IT IS!" Sonic backed away from the wolf, shaking his head.

"Oh, don't be such a wuss, faker-

'Snap.'

Shadow felt a sharp pain in his arm, and looked down to see the puppy chewing on it, with an evil glint in its eyes.

"…Hmm….I feel…different…like….EVIL!" Shadow started laughing evilly, while the puppy wagged his tail, satisfied his job had been done. The white wolf snarled as darkness overwhelmed the area, and everything went black.

Ending the Hero path of this story, and starting the Dark path. This is why you shouldn't pet Dark Chibiterasu from Okamiden; his bite really is pure evil.

* * *

><p>Fanfiction dimension<p>

"There, I've ended the story, it's a good ending, and the reviewers will be pleased you updated." The girl shut the Netbook, and looked around at Swift and Akemi, who were glaring at each other.

"Sure, Hikari…" Akemi muttered. Swift was about to respond with a rude comment to Akemi, when she gasped.

"I don't think the story's over…" She said, staring into the distance and shuddering as she saw something happen.

"What is it?"

The author whipped around, and spoke in a strange voice.

"_When the path of light ends, the hero will turn to the dark side, and kill all that oppose him. When the sun sets on the third day of darkness, the child of the eclipse will join forces with the dark hero to defeat the knight of the wind and the man who walks with huskies. The sky will turn red, and the legendary white dragon will reveal the Truth, while the black dragon speaks of Ideals."_

"…Was that a prophesy?" Hikari asked Akemi.

"I think so…a prophesy for the story…" Akemi sighed. Who knew what was going to happen next?

Just then, the door was kicked down, and Sammy walked in. Everyone looked at him with a 'WTF' expression.

"…DOES NO ONE CARE ABOUT MY BIRTHDAY, IT WAS ON FRIDAY! OH, SURE, YOU CELEBRATE SHADOW'S, BUT NOT MINE! IT'S NOT FAIR! I HATE THAT DEMON HEDGEHOG!" Sammy roared, having a temper tantrum. He then walked out.

"…That was weird…" Swift mumbled.

"CALL OF DUTAY!" Reimaru bounded past, wearing armour and wielding guns with his seven tails. He rammed into another wall, breaking it down.

"OK, 'fess up. Who gave Reimaru sake?" Hikari looked around at the empty room, while Swift shuffled around, trying not to betray the guilty look on her face.

"Hang on Hikari…I think he actually broke the fourth wall…I can see some reviewers staring at us." Akemi sweatdropped.

"Well I guess…" Hikari took out some sunglasses, and put them on.

"We better get to writing the Dark path."

YEAAAAHHHHHH!

The CSI Miami theme song played, showing Tachi and Reimaru on a speed boat.

"REIMARU, GET OFF THE EFFING BOAT!" Tachi yowled as the demon fox made the boat stand on one end with his weight.

Leaving the readers to wonder what the censored had happened to the story.

* * *

><p><em>Well, that's the end of the Hero path! If anyone can figure out the prophesy, they get a shout out at the end of the story. <em>

Tachi: Swift, Sammy is glaring at us with murderous intent…

_Awww fiddlesticks. I think…*puts sunglasses on*_

_We better get coffee._

_YEAAAAAHHHHHH!_

Sammy: THAT WASN'T FUNNY!


	7. Mountain Dew OVERDRIVE!

_IT'S DECEMBER! AND WE'RE HERE WITH ANOTHER ABRIDGED CHAPTER!_

Tachi: The solving of Swift's prophesy competition is over! The reviewers will find out what it meant later.

_In the meantime...it's the start of the Dark Path, woot!_

Disclaimer: _If I owned Sonic, that Sonic Generations game would be called Shadow Generations, demon foxes would rampage in the streets, and Makarov from Call Of Duty would appear and shoot stuff. But I don't own Sonic. And I don't play COD. I don't own the song Reimaru sings, nor do I own the 'And then to CODA' song from Solatorobo. _

WARNING: _The following chapter is full of randomness, and was written on a sugar rush. Oh, and it's a filler. BEWARE!_

* * *

><p>Chapter 7: Mountain Dew OVERDRIVE!<p>

Fanfiction Dimension

It was approximately 4:34 in the morning. Akemi was sleeping on the sofa, while Swift was probably playing Okamiden again, as she would usually do at the crack of dawn.

"Oh my…So many video games…" Akemi muttered in his sleep.

Akemi's dream

Akemi was stood in a giant video game store, with shelves and more shelves full of video games. He slowly turned around to take in the sight.

"I've died and gone to heaven…" He whispered, picking up a copy of Pokémon Grey. It didn't exist yet, but this is the author predicting the future. There WILL be a Pokémon game after the shenanigans in Black and White, called Pokémon Grey. You just wait. I'll be there to laugh in your faces, and say, 'I told you so!'

"I wonder if they have a Grand Theft Auto game here…" Akemi looked around, until he saw a golden (or in his case, black…because he's colour blind you know) sitting on a stone shrine with sunlight shining down on it.

"Holy great Amaterasu! A golden Grand Theft Auto game!" Akemi ran in slow motion to pick up the game as a choir sang sweetly in the background. He didn't realise that there were very VIOLENT pictures on the shrine. I mean, one had a picture of some dude laughing psychotically and wielding a giant sword while another guy cowered in front of him. But that's not important.

Akemi was about to pick up the golden game when suddenly-

"RINSAYARA RINARUU-SA! RINSAYARA SAYAAAA!" A male voice howled loudly and terribly, making the invisible choir gasp and faint at the dreadful singing.

"WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT?" Akemi swore, covering his ears. The voice continued singing in a drunken way, getting louder every minute.

"WHEN WE, JUST CAN'T SEEM TO MOVE ON,

THINKING THERE'S NO END TO OUR JOURNEY!

WHEN YOU JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO,

TAKE A DEEP BREATH!"

Akemi desperately tried to stay in his dream, but the video game store started vanishing around him. He swore as his vision turned to blackness.

* * *

><p>Reality (no, not really)<p>

Tachi was standing next to a very drunk Reimaru while a cranky Sammy glared at her.

"Just what is the point of this silly prank, anyway?" He asked. Tachi grinned.

"Well, we have to get ready for Meme Day! And Akemi won't wake up. So that's why I gave Reimaru extra sake, because he wouldn't normally sing like that. Do you know how hard it is to wake Akemi up in the morning?" She asked.

"But it's EARLY!"

"Oh well. Hey, aren't you supposed to be singing?"

"I would rather listen to Nyan Cat, than lose my dignity!" Sammy snapped. Tachi just smirked.

"Well, in this world I'm an Author Assistant, which means I get some of the author powers of randomness…" She said slowly.

"You wouldn't. You're not that evil…"

A few seconds later, Tachi listened as the Nyan Cat music sounded loudly in the background. Kudamon was just shaking his head in despair, while Sammy did his best to try and block out the irritating music.

"CURSE YOU JACKAL!" He shouted from the locked room.

"You know…most of this racket is unnecessary." Kudamon muttered.

"Like I said, it's going to be Meme Day tomorrow! NOTHING is unnecessary!"

"EACH TIME IT IS WITHIN OUR REACH, IT LEAVES AGAIN AND AGAIN, BUT WE WILL NEVER, BE AFRAID! BECAUSE NOTHING CAN STOP US NOW!" Reimaru howled, singing out of tune. Tachi punched the air in triumph as Akemi woke up and shot a death glare at her.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT FROM ME?" He screamed.

"Happy soon to be Meme Day!"

"WHAT THE *CENSORED* IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?"

"OUR TRUE HEARTS UNITE AS ONE!" Reimaru sang.

"Well, Meme Day is when you act out memes!" Tachi explained.

"You woke me up at *CENSORED* 0'clock to tell me THAT?" Akemi fumed.

"Yup!"

"OUR TRUE TIES CAN NEVER BREAK!" Reimaru chimed in.

"Did you have to get Reimaru drunk out of his mind?"

"WITH OUR BONDS WE'LL MAKE IT THROUGH THICK AND THIN, OOOOH!"

"Well, he did say he wanted a bribe…"

"AND TOGETHER WE WILL FIND, EVERYTHING WE'RE SEARCHING FOR, WE WON'T STOP UNTIL WE REACH THE END!"

"SOMEONE PLEASE SHUT THAT FOX UP!" Sammy yelled from the locked room. He had managed to disable the Nyan Cat song.

"No! I like Rei's singing!" Tachi yelled back. Akemi just facepalmed.

"_Why didn't I sign up for some other OC story? I could have gotten out of this. Then again, there was that story with the zombies…_" He thought, trying to shield his ears from the singing. Thankfully, Rayquaza from Pokémon poofed in, and Hyper Beamed Reimaru through the wall, to protect the peace. The demon fox yipped, and staggered up to his paws.

"Through the pain we will survive, gain the strength to stay alive, 'cause within our reach is DESTINY!" He managed to gasp before passing out. Rayquaza nodded in satisfaction, and flew back to the sky, making a neat hole in the roof.

"Holy Amaterasu…what was the point of all that?" Akemi complained. Just then, Swift rushed in, waving a flag with the Mountain Dew logo on it.

"MOUNTAIN DEW FOR THE WIN!" She shouted, epically waving the flag like a sword and hitting Akemi on the head.

"…Tachi, did you have Mountain Dew as well?" Akemi asked, rubbing his head and glaring at Swift.

"Well, I might have joined Swift in having…two or three bottles…" Tachi whistled innocently, as Akemi banged his head against the wall.

* * *

><p>Gaming Dimension<p>

Elsewhere next to The Most Epic Tree In the World, Shadow shivered, and looked around.

"It's like somewhere, there's a pair of fangirls jumped up on Mountain Dew…" He muttered. He already knew what hyper fangirls were like. His chest fur was never the same again after that…incident.

"SHADOW." A familiar voice said. Shadow looked up to see Black Doom hovering in front of him.

"Who are you? How do you know I'm Shadow?" He growled, getting ready to fight. Black Doom paused. After that strange black and red wolf puppy (who was not related at ALL to the Black Arms) had bit Shadow, he had sensed time and space changing, eventually ending up three days earlier. But it seemed Shadow didn't remember the wolf. So Doom just decided to trick him.

"YOU AGREED TO HELP ME BEFORE YOU LOST YOUR MEMORY, AND YOU ALWAYS KEEP YOUR WORD, DON'T YOU?" He asked, crossing his fingers behind his back. Shadow looked puzzled but nodded.

"I don't know…I can't remember anything at all…wait, how did I know my name? What was I doing near this tree?" He wondered.

"AH. I THINK ONE OF THOSE HUMAN SOLDIERS PROBABLY KNOCKED YOU OUT. MAYBE THAT'S WHY YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT YOUR PAST. YOU CAN STILL HELP ME COLLECT THE CHAOS EMERALDS…"

"I guess…Okay, since you know me, I'll do what you ask. As long as it isn't insane."

"FINE THEN. COULD YOU JUST…RUN DOWN TO THE CITY, AND PERHAPS KILL THIRTY SOLDIERS FOR ME? THERE'S TWO CHAOS EMERALDS IN THE CITY AS WELL…" Black Doom said. He held his breath as Shadow glared at him, and then the hedgehog nodded.

"Sure. That's not crazy at all."

"EXCELLENT!" Black Doom vanished, smirking victoriously. He didn't believe it was THAT easy to fool Shadow, but he had done it, and now the little hedgehog was doing his bidding.

* * *

><p>Fanfiction Dimension<p>

Akemi sighed in relief as the two fangirls snapped out of their sugar rush. Swift tilted her head in confusion.

"Why am I carrying this flag?" She asked Tachi, who simply shrugged.

"You two had way too much Mountain Dew…and stuff happened." Akemi explained, looking around at the trashed room. Reimaru shook his head, and got up.

"Oooh. Sake." He muttered, seeing a large bowl of the alcoholic drink sitting in front of him. Tachi quickly tried to take the bowl away, but she was too late as the fox lapped it up. A large (and scary) grin slowly spread across Reimaru's face as everyone except for Kudamon retreated out of the room.

"…I feel like singing the Nyan Cat song!" He announced.

"NOOOO!" Sammy yelled, still locked in the room.

"NYAN NYA NYAN, NYA NYAN! N-N-N-N-N-NYAN NYAN NYAN (ETC)!" Reimaru sang.

"What…the …heck." Kudamon muttered. His thoughts were interrupted as Sammy managed to kick down the door. He was holding a blue i-Pod thingy, which is another word for Digivice.

"Kudamon, Digivolve!" He shouted, waving the Digivice. Kudamon shrugged.

"You have to say the correct phrase." He replied. Sammy facepalmed and slammed his hand down on the magical i-Pod thing.

"DNA CHARGE!" He grumbled. Kudamon jumped into the air.

"Kudamon, Digivolve to…REPPAMON!" He roared, turning into a medium sized fox with a mask on his head and a bladed tail. Reimaru yelped as he was owned for the second time that day. Yes, I know it's a plot hole that a small fox can own a demon fox the size of a truck, but this is a Digimon we're talking about.

* * *

><p><em>I bet you reviewers forgot Kudamon could Digivolve. <em>

Tachi: Send in your meme requests for Meme Day!

Akemi: Or not.

Reimaru: Send in sake and noodles as well! *hic*


	8. LIKE A BOSS!

_IT'S NEARLY CHRISTMAS!_

Tachi: PRESENTS!

_Anyway, I'm now on my Christmas break. Updates were slow, because I got distracted…by stuff. I haven't forgotten about the meme requests though…it's sad, only two people put in requests…oh well. Keep an eye out for memes!_

Disclaimer: _I'm losing the will to live with this thing…_

Akemi: This chapter was written on Mountain Dew. AGAIN. I swear, I'm going to have to hide the bottles if it continues…

_I CAN FEEL THE SUGAR! *kicks random chair over* YEAAAAHHH!_

* * *

><p>Chapter 8: LIKE A BOSS!<p>

Fanfiction Dimension

Akemi was once again snoring in his bed, peacefully dreaming about video games and a possible sequel to Ghost Trick. No, that's not the author predicting stuff, but it would be cool to have a sequel.

A small furry shape crept in, tiptoed over to the window, and whipped the curtains open, making sunlight flood into the room.

"TACHI!" Akemi screamed, jumping up.

"Morning! You do realise it's half past 10, right?" Tachi asked. The only reply she got back was a vampire like hiss as Akemi hid behind the sofa away from the sunlight.

"You're acting like the sun's going to fry you or something…"

"I don't like being woken up by freaking sunlight! You try playing video games in the dark for hours, and see where it gets you!"

Tachi looked up as Swift walked in, with some knitting in one hand. The author blinked and dropped the knitting kit in shock.

"MY EYES! THEY BURN! OH, I'M GOING BLIND IN ONE EYE!" She screamed, diving behind the sofa.

"You guys need more sunlight…" Tachi muttered, as Akemi cautiously peeked over the edge of the chair. But then a rather huge orange dragon stomped in, looking furious.

"OKAY! WHERE'S THAT AUTHOR WHO TURNED ME INTO A POKEMON?" He shouted, sounding like Sammy. Everyone pointed at Swift who shrugged.

"It's Meme Day…" She said.

"MEME DAY! MEME DAY!" Tachi bounced around the room, while Akemi looked shocked.

"I thought I hid that Mountain Dew in a safe place…"

"Yeah, you did. But there's new bottles! Packed with one litre of unhealthy sugary goodness!" Swift held up a large bottle of Mountain Dew, with a psychotic grin on her face. Akemi just backed away slowly.

"Well, I didn't come to see hyper fangirls on sugar…I came to see YOU, about your training!" Samuel roared at Akemi.

"Training…? Hmm, that reminds me…I have homework to do." Akemi was about to run off, but a hand grabbed him by the shoulder.

"Akemi…you don't even go to school anymore, and in the world of OC canon, you just work in a video game store."

"Ah…crap."

"Besides…HOMEWORK IS FOR WIMPS AND NERDS! YOU'RE GOING TRAINING, WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT! I'LL DRAG YOU OUT OF THIS PLACE IF I HAVE TO!"

"I'm not moving."

Seconds later, people walking on the road outside were surprised to see a dragon Pokémon dragging a kicking and swearing teenager by the leg.

"But Swift…what does that have to do with Meme Day?" Tachi asked. Swift just looked mysterious.

"That is for Mskittykitty555 to figure out, and for you to ponder about."

* * *

><p>Gaming Dimension<p>

Digital Circuit

Doom's Eye was hovering impatiently on a glowing platform that looked like something out of the future, while a few of his soldiers terrorized some GUN robots.

"WHERE IS THAT HEDGEHOG? HE SAID THAT HE'D BE ON TIME!" He complained to thin air.

"ARGH!"

"HM?" The floating squid of doom looked up in time to see a flying black blur crash into a nearby wall. Shadow slid down the wall, and landed in a crumpled heap.

"WHY ARE YOU LATE, SHADOW?" Doom's Eye growled, hovering over the hedgehog. Shadow staggered to his feet.

"Ow…curse you McAfee, and those damn firewalls…" He muttered.

"AH. HAVING A BIT OF TROUBLE WITH THE SECURITY SYSTEM, ARE WE?"

* * *

><p>Fanfiction Dimension<p>

Swift tapped her finger on the desk irritably as she waited for McAfee to stop slowing down her computer. She sighed and went to reading a Psychology textbook, but many minutes later, the computer was still slow.

"CURSE YOU CRAPAFEE!" She yelled, slamming her Psychology book down.

* * *

><p>Gaming Dimension<p>

"THERE IS NO TIME TO LOSE. WE MUST DESTROY THE CORE PROGRAM, AND COLLECT THE CHAOS EMERALD BEFORE THAT SNEAKY BAT GETS TO IT."

"By we, do you mean I'LL do all the hard work, the destroying of robots and jumping over bottomless pits while you hover around, giving orders, and not helping at all?" Shadow crossed his arms, and glared at Doom's Eye, who shifted around uncomfortably.

"AH…ERM…"

"It doesn't matter. DESTROY!" Shadow laughed evilly, charging down the path wielding a chainsaw he had picked up randomly.

"OKAY THEN…" Doom's Eye followed after him, thanking his lucky stars that Shadow hadn't turned on him as yet.

"_WHEN I GET THE TIME, I REALLY MUST DO SOMETHING ABOUT THAT PESKY FREE WILL OF HIS…_" He thought to himself.

Meanwhile, Shadow charged on ahead, blowing up robots that got in his way carelessly. It's a really good thing they were robots. Let's just say, if they had been soldiers…this chapter would be messy. Very messy indeed.

"BLARG RAWR!" A Black Arms worm roared as it knocked Shadow into a wall.

"Damn it…" Shadow got up and shot a death glare at the giant worm, which seemed to be eyeing him with a hungry expression.

"Hey, dumbass! We're on the same side!" He shouted. The worm just burrowed underground, not listening to Shadow. Yes, they might be on the same side, but it's not like the worm was going to pay attention to an angry hedgehog that smelled like food.

Shadow twitched his ears and braced himself for another attack. But he wasn't expecting a bat to land on him out of nowhere.

"Whoops. My bad. Sorry, sunshine." Rouge said, as Shadow pulled his head out of the ground. She spotted a Chaos emerald next to him, and reached out to pick it up.

"DON'T TOUCH IT!" Shadow yelled, smacking Rouge's hand away from the precious emerald. The bat jumped back, a little bit shocked at Shadow's angry outburst as he picked up the emerald and fitted it back in his head quills.

"The nerve of some people!" He growled, scowling at Rouge, who shrugged.

"It was just a mistake. Anyway, I'm here to look for the Chaos emerald. You're welcome to join me, if you want…" She said. Shadow was about to reply, but he noticed Doom's Eye floating in the distance, literally giving him the evil eye.

"Sorry, but I'm already on a mission."

"Aww...well, that's too bad. I guess I'll find it myself. See you later." Rouge took off again, as Shadow turned around to see a drooling worm looming over him.

"Oh, shi-"

The worm promptly ate him in one gulp, as Doom's Eye facepalmed and hovered over.

"BY THE ORDER OF THE DARK LORD…YOU MUST SPIT THAT HEDGEHOG OUT." He boomed in a loud voice. The worm just gave him a blank look, and then died a rather painful death as Shadow used his chainsaw to… well, cut his way out.

"I hate worms." He mumbled, shaking the slime off his fur.

"I'M AFRAID SOME OF MY SOLDIERS ARE A BIT…IDIOTIC." Doom's Eye explained.

"Yeah, I can see that."

So the evil pair continued on, until they reached their goal. A large fox on fire was waiting for them there.

"BEHOLD! I AM THE FIREFOX! YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" He yelled, slashing his claws at Shadow. The black blur jumped out of the way quickly, and sighed.

"You didn't tell me that the core was guarded by a mad digital fox…" He complained to Doom's Eye, who just shrugged indifferently.

"IT'S JUST A FOX MADE OUT OF PIXELS. GROW UP, SHADOW." He said.

"_Say…if it's made out of pixels, does that mean…IT'S A DIGIMON?_" Swift gasped.

"I don't know, you're writing this!"

So the author decided to put in a bit of the good old filler, and she summoned a random kid wearing an orange jacket.

"…Hey! This isn't the real world!" The boy shouted.

"_LOOK MARCUS! IT'S A DIGIMON FOR YOU TO PUNCH!_" Swift shouted, while the Firefox looked puzzled. Marcus Damon of the DATS (AKA Digimon Data Squad) grinned.

"This should be easy. ARGH!" He gave an epic yell, before punching the poor fox square in the face. It fell over, and vanished. Marcus then punched the core (whatever it looked like) and vanished, not knowing he just helped the dark side in their quest.

"WELL DONE SHADOW…IT'S MISSION COMPLETE." Doom's Eye said. Shadow struck an epic pose to the fans playing the game, and then teleported to the next level.

* * *

><p>Fanfiction Dimension<p>

Akemi stared down the strange dragon Pokémon (oh, *censored* it's a Charizard!) standing in front of him. They were standing outside, in a field with a few trees.

"Since I now have control over fire…I'm going to attack you, so dodge my attacks. Are you ready?" Sammy asked. Akemi crossed his arms.

"Challenge accepted." He said, narrowing his eyes. The dragon sucked in some air, and then blew a large fireball at a tree, causing it to blow up.

"…Challenge NOT accepted! Challenge not accepted!" Akemi yelled, racing away from the flames as fast as he could.

Meanwhile, Tachi and Swift were playing Okami, while Reimaru watched from a corner.

"Say…what does Reimaru do in his spare time?" Tachi wondered randomly. The demon fox smirked, took out a pair of sunglasses and put them on.

"So, you want to know what I do? Well…" Reimaru began rapping as some music played in the background.

"I terrorise mortals, LIKE A BOSS! I eat souls, LIKE A BOSS! I hunt the demon hunters, LIKE A BOSS! I challenge Shadow to epic fights, LIKE A BOSS! I chase explorers, LIKE A BOSS! I'm a fox, LIKE A BOSS!"

"…Okay then…" Tachi turned to look back at the TV, praying that Reimaru hadn't drank some of the Mountain Dew.

* * *

><p><em>And that's it for the chapter! I updated, LIKE A BOSS!<em>

Tachi: *facepalm*


	9. Shadow, the Dragonborn?

_Happy new year from the people who like writing random stuff on computers about Shadow!_

Tachi: Or Team…hang on, we don't have a team name.

_Speak for yourself, I'm with Team Dark. Or Team Jacob…wait, no one heard that._

Tachi: WE NEED A TEAM NAME!

Disclaimer: FUS RO DAH! *sends it flying*

* * *

><p>Chapter 9: Shadow, the…Dragonborn?<p>

Fanfiction Dimension (as you've guessed it)

Swift was sitting on the sofa, currently concentrating on reading a book called Inheritance, which had a picture of a green dragon on it, hint hint.

"I can't believe Eragon married Saphira, and the last dragon egg in existence is actually a Tyrannosaurs Rex egg!" She gasped, as Tachi walked in.

"YEAH! I read that book. I still can't get over the fact that Murtagh is actually Galbatorix in disguise, and Shruikan is his pet demon vampire wolf-dog hybrid!" Tachi announced.

"You know, I hope there aren't any fans of the Inheritance Cycle reading this. Those were some SHOCKING spoilers…" Swift sighed.

"Yeah, it would be a pity if they heard what we said." Tachi nodded wisely. It was now the new year, and the end of the world was nigh in December. But that doesn't matter. What's also cool was the fact it was the Year of the Water Dragon, though you don't celebrate Chinese New Year until February.

Yes, things were very quiet, compared to what happened on Christmas day.

* * *

><p>*Flashback*<p>

Tachi raced around the house, with some glittery decorations hanging from her mouth. An angry Commander was chasing after her, not pleased by the fact that his decorations had been stolen by a crazy jackal.

"GIVE ME BACK THOSE DECORATIONS!" He shouted.

"SHINY!" Tachi growled, sounding muffled. Sammy turned to Swift, who was watching TV.

"Tell your irritating canine that I'll shoot her if she doesn't give me my stuff back."

"Hush. I'm looking at Bones. Wow, check out that dead body." Swift pointed at the screen, where a rotting dead body was hanging from a tree. A few crows landed on the corpse and started to pull its eyes out. A disgusted FBI agent watched from the ground, while the woman next to him looked indifferent, despite the crows and the…eye thing.

"Don't you just LOVE Bones?"

"…" Sammy just left the room, leaving a happy Tachi to admire the decorations she had stolen. Right on cue, Akemi rushed into the room.

"Swift! Tachi! Aren't you two helping out with setting up the Christmas party? It's not like I can ask Reimaru and Tsuki to help…they're…you know…under the mistletoe." Akemi muttered the last part of the sentence.

"Doing what?" Tachi asked.

"Doing STUFF that would make this story M rated if we even wrote a description…" Akemi shivered.

"..."

"…I think we should just leave them." Swift muttered.

"HOLY MOTHER OF FREAKING CHAOS! MY EYES!" Sammy screamed in the background.

"DO YOU MIND?" Reimaru roared back.

"It's not MY fault if you demons don't have a sense of dignity and decency! Think of the KIDS!"

*end of flashback*

* * *

><p>To cut a long story short, there weren't enough snacks at the Christmas party, and no one turned up. It was probably due to the fact Tachi didn't write any invitations, and Swift would just look at Bones, and freak people out just to see their reaction when they saw the dead bodies on the show.<p>

"You know, we really need a team name…maybe the reviewers have suggestions, or we can make up our own name…" Tachi said thoughtfully, looking directly at the fourth wall.

"Yeah…by the way, did you know, Roran's actually the Incredible Hulk in disguise?"

* * *

><p>Gaming dimension<p>

A random person wearing a blue jacket looked out of his window, at the setting sun. There was a picture on his desk, which had Sonic grinning cheerily at the cameraman, while Shadow looked epic with his arms crossed.

"We must stand united against these invaders!" The dude in the blue jacket said, clenching his fist.

"You mean, YOU'LL stand and attempt to look epic in your office, while all the citizens get eaten by aliens?" The secretary commented.

"…Shut up, Secretary."

* * *

><p>Cryptic Castle<p>

Else where, Shadow Chaos Controlled outside a castle, and looked around.

"The Doctor must have gone this way…I'll walk into this so not haunted castle, and track him down. It looks like I managed to evade Doom's Eye as well…for once." Shadow muttered, looking up at the eerie castle. There were dark clouds gathering in the sky above it, with flashes of lightening, while a few bats flew around and sinister music and laughter was heard from inside the castle.

"Hmm, something about this place seems a bit…strange. Oh well."

Normal people would scream, and run the *censored* away from that place, but Shadow just simply strutted in. The door slammed shut behind him, and a large spider the size of a Chihuahua dropped down from the ceiling, and advanced towards the hedgehog. Shadow just kicked it away, and continued into the castle.

"This place can't be too big-ah, damn it…" Shadow growled angrily as he saw what looked like yet another action stage. He was about to start the level, but something pink, furry, and furry landed on him and started hugging the air out of him.

"ZOMG, SONIC! I KNEW I'D FIND YOU HERE! Because everyone likes creepy castles!"

"Not…Sonic…" Shadow gasped for air as his face turned blue. The pink fangirl stopped hugging him, and frowned.

"Oh. It's Shadow." She said.

"You need a pair of glasses…" Shadow said, catching his breath. Amy (who else is a big Sonic fangirl?) just sweatdropped.

"Sorry…I just thought it was Sonic. Anyway, I need your help. Cream and Cheese are missing!" Amy shouted.

"Cream cheese?" Shadow wondered.

"No, Cream AND Cheese. They said they wanted to play in the castle, and I haven't seen them since!"

"Wait, you what?"

"Yes, yes, YES! I know, I'm a bad babysitter, and I should be taken into custody for letting a six year old and her pet Chao play in a spooky castle like this! Please, Shadow, save them!" Amy said desperately.

"WHO DO YOU THINK I AM? A DELIVERY BOY? A RESCUER OF INNOCENT RABBITS? Ever since I woke up after that fail of an adventure you call Sonic Heroes, I've been fending for myself!" Shadow snapped.

"Ah, well-"

"I HAVE HAD IT WITH THESE MOTHER *censored* SIDE CHARACTERS IN THIS MOTHER *censored* GAME! JUST LEAVE ME TO MOPE IN PEACE!" Shadow angrily stormed off. Amy was just about to hit him for being a jerk, but then she realised an ancient trick from the dawn of…erm, Sonic Adventure 2.

"Maria." Amy said sweetly.

"Maria?" Shadow pondered.

"Maria."

"MARIA!" Shadow screamed, going into another flashback. Amy just guided him carefully down the path, while he was lost in the flashback.

Many minutes later, Shadow snapped out of it, and looked around, to find Amy and Cream looking at him.

"Oh, thank you, Mr. Shadow! You saved my life!" Cream hugged Shadow, who was a bit surprised.

"Erm…Okay then…I'm out of here…"

"WAIT! Cheese is still missing." Amy pointed out. Shadow just sighed. He couldn't tell why, but something was making him act nice.

"I'll go and look for him, and meet you guys outside." He walked off, still wondering what happened. Until he bumped into a TV which had Eggman's grinning picture on it.

"SHADOW! You came at the right moment! The black aliens-

"Black Arms."

"Black Arms, are trying to take over my castle. You must light the five torches, to activate the security systems!" Eggman explained.

"You mean, this castle doesn't belong to the Earl of Drummer?"

"WHERE AM I GOING TO PUT MY HUMAN SACRIFICES?" A random man next to Shadow complained. He was booted off the ledge, and fell screaming into the infinite pit surrounding the path.

"No, the castle belongs to me. I stole-BORROWED it from someone."

"You remind me of a certain jackal who says stuff like that…" Shadow shook his head. If he helped Eggman, he could get a Chaos emerald, complete another part of the Dark story, and maybe gain some of his memories back.

"Well, let's go light the torches!" Eggman said cheerfully, not moving.

"…Doctor, why didn't you enable your TV to levitate or something?"

"I WOULD have. But a certain author sent a certain jackal to pinch some certain machine parts that I REALLY need. The nerve!" Eggman fumed.

To cut another long story short, Shadow had to carry the TV, light the torches, jump over flaming pits, beat off Black Arms aliens, hijack their flying hawks, avoid walls trying to squish him into a fine gooey hedgehog paste, and own some people wearing goat masks, who weren't pleased by the fact that their castle had been taken over. While carrying Eggman's ridiculously heavy TV. No wonder he's called the Ultimate Lifeform.

And then he met his biggest challenge yet.

Shadow peered into the pit of doom, shivering slightly.

"Chao…why did it have to be Chao?" He asked, as the chao walked around in the pit. You may think he was afraid of them. He wasn't, just afraid of the fact that if he even made one of them cry, an angry, vengeful watery dragon of death would come after him, demanding revenge for his worshippers.

Which reminds me. This year COULD be called the Year of Chaos. Seeing as Chaos is a water dragon thing, and it's the Year of the Water Dragon…which is ironic, considering we're supposed to get wiped out by floods, tsunamis and other watery accidents. But back to the story.

"I'm NOT afraid of Chao! I even found that blue blob a few miles back!" Shadow yelled.

"Then I dare you to…CHAOS BLAST THEM ALL!" Eggman cackled from his TV.

"Fine…" Shadow put the TV on a high ledge so the doctor could see, and then jumped into the pit filled with Chao. The small creatures turned to look at him, and then ran over, making sweet 'chao' noises.

"CHAOS BLAST!" There was an explosion, and when the dust settled, there were no Chao.

Just rabid Dark Chao that wanted to rip Shadow's fur and tail off, and make them into delightful souvenirs for fangirls to buy.

"CHAOOO!"

"ARGH! GET THEM OFF ME!" Shadow ran around, with several Dark Chao biting on his ears, and others chomping on his legs. Eggman just chuckled.

Many minutes later, Shadow watched from the other side of the room, as the Chao set up a stall, and sold clumps of his fur to passing fangirls.

"I'm going to miss that fur." He sighed, looking at the many bald patches in his pelt.

"It could have been worse…you could have ended up as someone's stuffed hedgehog, or as a rug on the floor…think of the possibilities." Eggman suggested.

"Yeah…let's get out of here before they get that idea."

So, the Explorers Of Darkness…I mean, haunted castle, continued on their quest to light the torches. But then there was another problem. A dragon, who was actually a huge fan of Shadow, decided to flap down, and chase after Shadow, who was balancing on a rail.

"RAAAAWWWRRRR!"

"WHY ME? WHAT DID I DO IN MY PAST LIFE?" Shadow grinded on the rail, and reached the other side, with the dragon still following. Finally, he had it. Shadow turned to face the fan dragon, as epic music played.

'But, there is one they fear. In their tongue, he is Fluffykins…SHADOUBORN!" A random voice shouted. Shadow stepped up to the dragon.

"FUS RO DAH!" He screamed in the dragon's face. Normally, this would have only worked in Skyrim, but we'll make exceptions here.

"RAWR!" The dragon was blown away by the hedgehog's epic voice.

"I didn't expect that to work…" Shadow muttered.

"Oh well. Mission clear, Shadow! Now go collect your reward, before I change my mind…" Eggman said. Shadow struck an epic pose, and then walked away.

* * *

><p><em>Ah, a nice ending to a chapter. I made references to Skyrim, Inheritance (kinda) and a Choose Your Own Adventure horror book I have. It's called House of Hell, if anyone wants to know.<em>

Tachi: I used to be a normal feral jackal, but then I-

Reimaru: SHUT UP!

_That line…anyway, feel free to send in team name suggestions. Review, and enjoy the Year of Chaos!_


	10. FILLER MODIFY!

_I AM BACK WITH MORE UPDATES! HUZZAH!_

Akemi: GCSEs, Swift. Gee see ess ees.

Tachi: That looks like a foreign language in text…

Akemi:…

_Yes…yes it does._

Tachi: We picked the team name! The lucky person gets cookies and a demon fox fang, good for…well, looking pretty and awesome! The other authors get to hug Shadow or Akemi.

Akemi: I DON'T WANT HUGS!

* * *

><p>Chapter 10: FILLER MODIFY!<p>

Fanfiction Dimension

Things in the usually peaceful (if shiny stealing jackals, grumpy teenagers and Maths textbooks being thrown off the roof is normal) realm of…wherever the heck the author's house is-

"You mean to say, you don't know where your own imaginary house is?" Tachi interrupted.

HOW am I supposed to know? It hovers in another dimension in a time-space gap, which is located in the quarter of a second, in another universe, in another timeline, IN ANOTHER PLACE. So don't complain.

Anyhow, things had been stirred up quite a bit. First something unexpected happened.

Swift started watching Digimon Tamers.

* * *

><p>*flashback*<p>

Akemi was relaxing on the sofa, reading a book quietly.

"...it's too peaceful…something's wrong." He said to himself. Right on cue, something happened.

"DIGIMODIFY!" A female voice screamed in his ear. Akemi nearly had a heart attack, and turned around to see Swift waving some Digimon cards and a red Digivice.

"Swift…what are you doing?" He asked. Swift didn't answer. A card started hovering and spinning in the air as random music played, and Swift grabbed it, with some light glowing off her glasses…weirdly. She started doing some flashy karate moves before swiping the card through the device. Akemi just stared.

"DIGIMODIFY!" Swift yelled, dramatically slashing the card through the air. The card started glowing.

"Box of cookies, activate!" The music stopped playing and a box of cookies dropped down into Swift's hand.

"What…the…"

"Oh, I should explain. Since I like the card swiping in Digimon Tamers, I'm going to use my author powers…in the form of cards." Swift said, walking off. Akemi just stared after her. Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Tachi kept a watchful eye on some chocolate cake and panicked as Reimaru rushed in to devour it.

"HEY, REIMARU! THE CAKE IS A LIE!"

The fox was about to say he didn't get the joke, but the cake exploded in his face, covering him in chocolate fudge. Tsuki came along, and facepalmed.

*end of flashback*

Yes, I know it was a long and pointless flashback. We're creating filler here, like the spicy jalapeño chicken sandwich filler (that isn't too good for your health if you eat it all the time…) so we'll pick up the story…now.

Akemi stared silently at the chaos and disorder spreading through the house. Some pancakes were stuck to the ceiling, candy floss clouds were drifting around and raining down what looked like chocolate milkshake, Tachi was acting like a feral jackal, and Tsuki was screeching like…erm, a cat.

"SWIFT!" The boy screamed. Swift sauntered in, eating a bacon flavoured ice cream.

"Yeah. Sorry about the chocolate rain and everything else. I lost a Dinosaur King card game to Discord." She explained.

"You're damned right you lost the house to discord! Look at Reimaru!" Akemi pointed at Reimaru, who had dyed his fur pink, dressed up in a frilly white tutu and was now 'gracefully' ballet dancing across the front room, kicking over the sofa as he twirled around.

"I am your butterfly! I need your protection, neo samurai!" he squealed in a high pitched voice.

"I NEED BRAIN BLEACH! THE IMAGES, THEY BURN MY MIND TO ASH!" Tsuki screamed, nearly clawing her eyes out. To make matters worse, Sammy came in playing a guitar and playing random music, while wearing sunglasses and wearing a cowboy hat.

"Shipwrecked in the sea of faces, there's a dreamy world up there…" He sang. Tsuki screamed even more, and tried to knock herself out with a copy of Breaking Dawn. Akemi glared at Swift, who shrugged, and drank some milkshake.

"Don't talk to me, talk to Discord." She said.

"WHO THE *censored for reader's safety* IS DISCORD?" Akemi yelled.

"I'm Discord." An arrogant voice said. Akemi slowly looked up to see a dragon-pony-lion-hawk-THING dragon resting on a cloud, drinking the glass of a chocolate milkshake. No, not a typo. He really was drinking the glass, slurping it even.

"Oh? I see you don't recognise me. I am the spirit of disharmony, chaos and…rugged good looks." Discord smirked, showing a long fang.

"And what the HELL are you?"

"A Draconequus. Google it." Discord took another sip of his glass.

"Do you think you could stop all the chaos, and go somewhere else? You could even spread your chaos in another room, just not here…with the breakable TV and games. Especially the games." Akemi pleaded. Discord stared hard at him.

"Okay then...Fair trade." The Draconequus flew off to find another room, returning the place back to normal. Reimaru took a look at the dress he was wearing, and shredded it to pieces, before graphically murdering a harmless chicken who was walking past. Tachi paused as she was about to tear an innocent book up, then shrugged and did it anyway. Sammy continued singing.

And Akemi looked at himself and realised he was a grey pony, with huge feathered wings, brown stripes and what looked like a small picture of Grand Theft Auto on his flank.

"I'M A FREAKING PONY!" He screamed. Swift just snapped a picture to post on the Internet.

* * *

><p>Gaming dimension<p>

Shadow was eyeing a whole army of Black Arms soldiers who were standing around him, holding very threatening and SHARP weapons.

"Don't try anything…" He hissed. One of the aliens turned to the guy next to him.

"Blarg, blurb?" He asked. The other alien looked around with a shifty look on his face.

"Blarg…blarg." He whispered.

"TRAITORS!" Black Doom yelled, flying down from nowhere and blasting them into nothing with a Chaos Spear. Shadow and the other aliens just stared at the smoking pile of ash, and thanked Chaos that they hadn't got Doom angry…yet.

"SHADOW. LET ME KEEP MY PROMISE, SINCE YOU'VE BEEN GOOD SO FAR." The warlord lifted his hands dramatically to the sky…

And a pizza box dropped down in front of Shadow.

"PIZZA!" The dark hero screamed, jumping on it like he hadn't eaten for a week. Well, the action stages are long, so I'm going to assume he hadn't eaten for a week.

"SHADOW, LET ME SHARE WITH YOU A PIECE OF YOUR PAST…"

"Nom nom nom! Nom nom nom! THIS IS DELICIOUS!" Shadow cried.

"…NEVER MIND…" Black Doom sighed. He waited until Shadow had finished, and then explained the next mission.

"YOU SEE ALL THESE BUILDINGS AROUND US?" He asked. Shadow nodded.

"What about them?"

"I WANT YOU TO FIND FIVE BOMBS IN THE CITY, ACTIVATE THEM AND BLOW THIS WORTHLESS HUMAN CITY TO RUBBLE AND ASH!"

"…YAY FOR DESTROYING!" Shadow got out his chainsaw, and ran off, waving his great weapon.

"Blarg…?" One of the soldiers wondered.

"YES, OF COURSE HE'LL BE FINE. HE HASN'T YET REALISED HE'S IN THE CITY THAT HE'S BLOWING UP, BUT LET'S GET OUT OF HERE. HE CAN CHAOS CONTROL." Black Doom and his army retreated, leaving a mad Shadow to destroy the city.

* * *

><p>Central City<p>

"How imaginative…" Shadow mused, looking at the title.

"_Don't blame me, that's what it's called in the game!_"

Cue many failed attempts to activate the bombs.

Attempt No.1

"WORK! YOU STUPID THING, WORK!" Shadow kicked a giant bomb while Knuckles (who was there for side character support) watched.

"You know, the bombs deactivate after 7 minutes." He pointed out.

"How do you know?"

"Fanfiction logic."

"Oh…damn." Shadow restarted the level again.

Attempt No.2

"Just…one more bomb to get…" Shadow panted, running down the road. Then he realised he'd been going in circles the whole time. The hedgehog fell to his knees and threw a tantrum, making cracks appear in the ground.

"DAMN!"

Tachi appeared out of nowhere, and smirked.

"Oh oh…trololololol, trololololol, MUHAHAHAHA oh, trololololol oh, lol, lol, lol…" She sang, with a trollface like look on her face. Shadow glared at her, and the jackal had to duck down as a Chaos Spear nearly hit her head.

Attempt No. 3

Shadow ran through a tunnel, following suspicious signs that said, 'GIANT BOMB THIS WAY!'

He didn't see the GUN soldiers waiting for him at the other end.

"Are you SURE this will work, Bob?" One soldier asked his friend.

"Of course! The Commander came up with the plan!" His friend replied back.

"That's why I'm not sure if this idea is going to work…"

Shadow appeared out of the tunnel.

"Huh…?"

"IT'S AN AMBUSH!" The soldiers yelled, jumping on the surprised hedgehog, Shadow noticed his Hero Meter (yup, that lovely blue bar in his game) was full.

"CHAOS CONTROL!" He shouted, flying through the city at a high speed. Many people stopped and gasped as they saw a small hedgehog zooming past them with a scowl on his face, carrying a chainsaw.

And then he crashed into a wall, losing many rings.

"DAMN IT!" He screamed to the heavens. Tachi appeared again.

"You better not sing that Trololololol song, jackal…"

Tachi just grinned, and took out a yellow Digivice. Shadow sighed, and facepalmed.

"Swift gave me this thing, and some Author Power cards! So now I can use them!" Tachi explained.

"Fine, just do your thing…"

The epic music played again as the card span in the air, and Tachi grabbed it, her yellow eyes glowing strangely. She did some fancy hand signs (that MIGHT have been swearing at Shadow, but he didn't realise it) and swiped the card.

"DIGIMODIFY! Oooh, shiny lights…" She snapped out of it and continued.

"Trollface of Discord, activate!"

A huge glowing shape formed in the sky, and formed into a giant trollface, which leered down at Shadow with much smugness.

"You've been trolled, you've been trolled…" It sang loudly, as the poor hedgehog grinded his teeth in frustration. Tachi vanished, leaving the giant face hovering over Shadow.

"I HATE trolls…" He muttered.

"You've been trolled, you've been trolled, you've been trolled…"

"SHUT UP!" Shadow finally lost it and Chaos Blasted the whole city, taking out the annoying face at the same time. He stared out of a rather deep crater, as he looked around to see a barren wasteland.

"…Oh well, it's not like anyone wanted to sit through THAT level…it's a nightmare." He muttered, walking off.

"You've been trolled…" A quiet voice sang. Shadow glared at the sky, and walked off.

* * *

><p>Random Nobody's Office<p>

"The city has been destroyed…I'm a failure…" The president sighed, looking out of his window. Sammy just watched.

"Is he ALWAYS like this?" He whispered to the secretary, who nodded.

"It gets harsh sometimes. No one likes politicians these days…"

"What were the total number of casualties?" The president asked Sammy, who sweatdropped.

"It was a lot. At least there's no need to build a new school in Central City!" He said cheerfully. Crickets chirped, while a familiar tune of 'You've been trolled' played in the silence.

"4Kids." The secretary whispered to Sammy.

"What I mean to say…OF COURSE NO ONE WAS KILLED! THIS IS AFTER ALL A THREE PLUS GAME! RATED E FOR EVERYONE!"

"12+ really."

"WELL, WHO CARES IF IT WAS FOR YOUNG TEENAGERS? THE POINT IS, NO ONE WAS IN CENTRAL CITY! BECAUSE THAT'S POSSIBLE!"

"Okay…I think 4Kids has stopped listening in…"

"…Finally…did you see what they did to One Piece?" The Commander shivered at the thought of the One Piece theme song.

Now, unto the second to last stage. Because we can't find anything funny to write, we'll just say Shadow journeyed through space on the back of a Black Arms dragon (awesome) did the Matrix to avoid bullets (epic) while Black Doom watched from a comfortably safe distance. (What?)

Which brings us up to the end of the story! OR IS IT?

* * *

><p>Fanfiction Dimension<p>

"So, the prophesy's coming true in the next chapter…" Akemi muttered, breaking the fourth wall.

"Cool! That means…We can go to the gaming world!" Tachi cheered.

"Yup…there's one more thing to say." Reimaru added. He stood up, and looked to the fourth wall.

"GO, TEAM WRITERS RUSH!" He roared epically, shaking the house. He then turned to Swift.

"You owe me ten bowls of noodles for that OOC moment." He complained.

* * *

><p><em>A filler chapter…sigh.<em>

Tachi: Blame Guilmon and the Tamers for this!

Guilmon: Hey! That's not fair!

…_Guilmon? Nah, I'm not going to even ask. In the next chapter, stuff happens, and…Holy StarClan, happy new Year of the Dragon! Apparently, it's today…or the 23rd of January, depending when you read this chapter. By the way, I was referencing to the Digimon Tamers card swipes (you know, how the Tamers swipe their cards) and I just finished watching the whole series. _

_And anonymous reader Shadow-I did read some of Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy. Not all of it, though… _

_And I referenced to My Little Pony. Problem? *trollface*_


	11. Dragons Up the Yin Yang!

_Updating so soon FTW!_

Tachi: Thanks for all the reviews so far! We couldn't have come this far without you!

Akemi: Yeah…that, and Four Minutes After Death is still slowly dying…actually, decomposing…*looks at dead story with flies buzzing around it*

_Well, it IS a story about Ghost Trick, four minutes before death, ferrets that SHOULD be dead, and stuff…_

Disclaimer_: I don't claim to own Pokemon or Digimon. Nor do I own Sonic. In fact, I only own my OCs. Oh, I wish I could buy Shadow from Sega…the Sonic series would be so awesome, because he would be Sonic's long lost brother, Tails would be a nine tailed fox, and there would be an anime and manga about the games…Not Sonic X, something like…Digimon Tamers. Sigh…_

WARNING: _This chapter is long. With random bits of filler placed in some parts._

* * *

><p>Chapter 11: Dragons Up the Yin Yang!<p>

_(TV Tropes. Ah, an awesome place.)_

Fanfiction dimension

In the random house located in the middle of nowhere, AKA the Fanfiction Dimension, Akemi was going through a lot of pain to ensure Swift didn't 'butterfly' and watch Digimon Frontier, 'forgetting' to update her story.

But she was literally known as 'Madam Butterfly' in primary school. And she didn't get that nickname by staying on task.

"COME ON! Just leave it! You watched an episode of the abridged series!" He tried to persuade her, as she started looking at Digimon Frontier.

"…I don't think this is as good as Digimon Tamers…" She muttered, clicking out of the window. Akemi breathed a sign of relief.

"I wish I could delete my memory with the D-Reaper, and then watch Digimon Tamers again…" She sighed, starting to type.

"Too bad."

Suddenly, Tachi raced in, and piled lots of furniture against the door. She turned to face the shocked teenagers.

"GUYS! IT'S THE BEST IDEA SINCE THE TWILIGHT SAGA!" She screamed. Akemi and Swift glanced at each other, and prayed quietly that whatever Tachi had in mind, it wouldn't involve sparkly teenage vampires with a questionable liking for girls named Bella.

"And what is your idea...Tachi?" Akemi asked. Tachi grinned, and held up a shiny blue card, with a picture of a growling dinosaur/dragon thing.

It was, of course, the famous blue card from Digimon Tamers.

"Your point is?" Akemi crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow, which wasn't visible under his long shaggy dog hair.

"CALL ME A SHAGGY DOG, AND YOU'LL SEE WHAT HAPPENS!" He screamed in Swift's face.

"Okay, okay, calm down…"

"Well, with the power of the Author Power cards, we can travel to the Gaming World, and troll Shadow and Sammy!" Tachi cried.

"You mean, join the final battle and help save the world from destruction?"

"Yeah, that…"

"Not going to happen. You remember the last time you went to get on Sammy's nerves?"

"Oh yeah…well, that won't happen! Not this time!" Tachi cast a nervous look at the door.

"Tachi…what did you do this time?" Akemi sighed. Tachi looked at the ground.

"I trolled Tigerclaw, Scourge, and I might have SLIGHTLY trolled Chuck Norris from a comfortably really safe distance. Don't worry, they don't know where I live!"

A cat's angry hissing was heard outside, along with many curse words. Akemi stared in horror as a fist broke through the door.

"OPEN THE FREAKING PORTAL! OPEN THE FREAKING PORTAL!" He screamed, shaking Swift by the shoulders.

"Calm down…that door is 100% Warrior Cat and hedgehog proof." She said calmly, sipping a cup of herbal tea that had appeared out of nowhere.

"BUT IT'S NOT CHUCK NORRIS PROOF, NOR IS IT ROUNDHOUSE KICK PROOF!" Akemi yelled in panic as the door started shaking from Chuck Norris' awesome epic aura. Swift's eyes widened in shock, and she dropped her tea.

"…TACHI, USE YOUR BLOODY *censored* DIGIMODIFY!" Swift screeched, shaking the poor jackal.

"Okay, okay, let me get ready to do my epic card slash!" Tachi quickly summoned her Digivice.

The card started spinning in the air, and Tachi grabbed it, her yellow eyes glinting epically in the dark. She held up her Digivice, and did some sign language moves (actually swearing at Akemi) as epic background music played.

"TACHI, HURRY THE *censored* UP!" Akemi interrupted. Tachi gave him a rude look, and swiped the card.

"DIGIMODIFY!" She yelled, slashing the card through the digital device.

"NOW WOULD BE A GOOD TIME!" Akemi added. Tachi just ignored him.

"AUTHOR ASSISTANT POWER OF EPIC AMAZING AWESOME SAUCE MEGA ULTIMATE DRAMATIC POWERFUL TELEPORTATION CARD ACTIVATE!" She yelled loudly. A small blue portal opened in the wall.

"…Is that it? What was the shouting about?" Akemi asked.

"It was the name of the card! Now, get in the portal already!"

The team quickly jumped into the portal, Swift still typing on her Netbook, Tachi holding a plate of tacos that had appeared for no reason, and Akemi just flailing around and screaming.

"I HOPE THIS PORTAL TAKES US DIRECTLY TO THE GAMING WORLD!" He yelled.

"CHILL OUT AND HAVE A TACO, AKEMI!" Tachi replied back.

"HAVE A TACO YOURSELF!"

Gaming World

Shadow peeked out of the huge cardboard box he was in. He was hiding in plain sight near the entrance to the GUN base. He watched as Sammy walked past, trying to cheer up an emo president.

"Don't worry, we'll blow up the aliens responsible for all this!" He said. The president sighed.

"It was Shadow…the Hedgehog. I've lost all faith in him." He mumbled. At this point, Sammy lost it.

"THAT HEDGEHOG! WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON HIM, I'M GOING TO KILL HIM, BURN HIS DEAD BODY, JUMP ON THE ASHES, THEN DRIVE OVER THOSE ASHES BEFORE SELLING THEM TO SOME FANGIRLS!" Sammy ranted, getting a giant rocket launcher. The president and the other GUN soldiers watched as he ran off, screaming death threats.

"…Should we tell him that we traded in his massive robot to a dog named Red, for a copy of Solatorobo: Red the Hunter?" A soldier asked. Everyone shook their heads.

"Hey, wait for me!" Kudamon yelled, rushing after Sammy. You remember Kudamon, right? The digital ferret Digimon?

"FOX! I'M A FOX!" He yelled back.

"…Looks like the last level…I have to get that Chaos emerald, and get back my lost memories…" Shadow shuffled off in his box, before Solid Snake appeared, grabbed the box off him, and angrily raised a middle finger before disappearing.

"…Damn." Shadow muttered, as the GUN soldiers noticed him.

"IT'S SHADOW! SHOOT HIM!" They cried. Shadow was forced to retreat, and he hid behind a randomly placed car.

"Well, I have to get past them…Black Doom is away doing doomy world domination stuff, and I can't just teleport in…"

A quiet bark was heard, and Shadow looked down to see a familiar demonic wolf puppy sitting in front of him.

"…What? You think you can help me get in? You're the size of a Chihuahua…" Shadow ignored the puppy.

"Woof…" The demon puppy barked, suddenly turning into a giant sized adult wolf with glowing red eyes, red swirly marks on his black fur and a red tipped tail.

"Could it be…Dark Chibiterasu from Okamiden?" Shadow asked. Dark Chibi nodded, and licked Shadow lightly.

"…If you're Dark Chibiterasu from Okamiden, and Chibiterasu is your good counterpart, and he's the son of Amaterasu, goddess of the sun, then that means…you're the child of the eclipse in that prophesy the crazy fangirl author said!" The hedgehog realised. Dark Chibi nodded again, and flipped Shadow unto his back. Shadow somehow summoned a wooden sword out of nowhere, and epic guitar music played.

'Dark Chibiterasu joined your party!'

"Let's go and steal the last Chaos emerald, Dark Chibi!" Shadow shouted. Dark Chibi howled, and ran off.

* * *

><p>GUN Fortress<p>

"You don't think Shadow will come back, do you…?" A soldier asked the person next to him.

"Don't worry, if he does, we'll shoot him with machine guns and blow him to kingdom come with our explosives!" The other soldier said, punching the air. Right on cue, there was the sound of demonic howling.

"KUROOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWW!"

"Yes?" A strangely dressed boy asked, taking out a flute and twirling it in his hand.

"Just what was that? And who the heck are you?" A GUN soldier asked.

"Name's Kurow dude. Don't wear it out. Looks like Boy teamed up with someone else…oh well, at least he still remembers me." Kurow shrugged and teleported back to the world of Okamiden.

"…Boy…?" A soldier wondered.

"KUROOOOOOOOOOOWWWW!" Came the eerie howl again. The wall exploded as Dark Chibi burst in, carrying Shadow on his back. Shadow pointed his sword at the nearest GUN soldier.

"Behold. I'm a demon wolf rider. Which is more awesome than a Chihuahua rider." He snarled.

"…We'll just back away slowly, and let the Commander deal with you….and your dog…" The soldiers backed off as Dark Chibi ran past them.

Cue awesome crowning moment of awesome, with Shadow battling GUN robots…while on a wolf's back. Carrying a wooden sword.

"THIS IS MADNESS!" A robot beeped.

"Madness? THIS IS MY GAME!" Shadow roared, as Dark Chibi grabbed the robot and threw it through a wall, blowing it up.

"KUROOOOOOOOWWW!" He howled in victory. They continued through the base, destroying computers, making Vector upset when he realised his computer room had been wrecked by a wolf and a hedgehog, and they eventually bumped into Rouge.

"…Shadow, what are you doing?" She asked.

"I'm spreading chaos while riding on a wolf." Shadow said simply.

"CHAOS AND DISCORD!" Discord sang, flying overhead to troll some unfortunate person who happened to be around at the wrong time.

"Okay then…watch out for the security system." Rouge sweatdropped as Dark Chibi raced off. She really needed to take a vacation and go on a treasure hunt, instead of dealing with random incidents in the GUN base. Last week, a giant hybrid dragon-shark robot with laser cannons on its back and heavy metal armour had broken in. Now it was aliens, and a genetically engineered hedgehog riding a demon wolf.

Elsewhere, Kudamon and Sammy had set up a trap at the end of the level. The trap was just a box of pizza, sitting on a table.

"When that demon hedgehog sees this, he'll stop to taste it and then…THEN I WILL SHOOT HIM!" Sammy yelled, his voice echoing down the hallway.

"Keep your voice down…traps don't work if you shout about them…" Kudamon muttered, sweatdropping.

"Trust me, it will work! That hedgehog can't resist pizza!" Sammy and Kudamon hid behind a conveniently placed car-

"Tell me Commander, why are there mysteriously placed cars to hide behind? This is your base right?" Kudamon asked Sammy, who shushed him.

Shadow came in still riding on Dark Chibi, and he slid off the wolf's back.

"Well, that was fun…" He smirked. Dark Chibi agreed with a loud bark, and sat down to take a break. Shadow then looked around at the surroundings.

"Hmm…The Chaos emerald should be around here…I can sense it." He muttered. And then his gaze fell upon a suspicious pizza sitting on the table. It was practically begging him to come and eat it.

"I haven't eaten in a while…" Shadow twitched his ears, and when he was sure no one was around, he threw himself at the pizza literally. Dark Chibi sweatdropped, and shook his head as Shadow dug into the pizza.

"NOM NOM NOM!"

'Click click! Click click!' Shadow looked up to see the Commander pointing a gun at him, and trying to get it to work. He just stared, as Sammy continued to click the gun, looking very embarrassed.

"Come on…work…damn it…" Sammy grumbled, trying to shoot.

"Erm…who the heck are you?"

"HOW COULD YOU NOT KNOW WHO I AM?" Sammy roared.

"…Really, who are you? And why are you trying to shoot me?"

"I'M SAMUEL!"

"…That doesn't answer my question…"

"This is why I hate it when people lose their memories…" Sammy broke into a long explanation of stuff about the ARK, Maria, losing his only family, angst ridden moments and revenge.

"YOU KILLED MY WHOLE FAMILY! EVEN MY PET DOG AND MY GOLDFISH! EVEN MY UNCLE, JIMMY!" He yelled, pointing the gun at Shadow's head.

"…But before you said Maria was your only family…" Shadow pointed out. Sammy sweatdropped as fail music could be heard playing faintly in the background.

"…It doesn't matter. I'M GOING TO KILL YOU, SHADOW!" He yelled. Shadow just crossed his arms.

"Your gun doesn't work. Wait, how did you get through the level anyway? There were electrified rails, bottomless pits, angry aliens and people going mad…"

"I used the lift." Sammy pointed at a lift.

"…DAMN IT!" Shadow yelled, realising he went through a whole level just for nothing. Dark Chibi continued watching, eating some popcorn.

"And now…KUDAMON, DIGIVOLVE INTO A MEGA AND STAMP ON THAT HEDGEHOG!" Sammy waved his Digivice. Kudamon just sighed, and walked off.

"I'm going home. Screw you, I didn't get a proper vacation! This video game is the worst ever!" He called over his shoulder before jumping into a portal that led back to the Digimon Savers world.

"…Well, since you're supposed to be the final boss in the game, I'll just painfully kill you now." Shadow grinned.

* * *

><p>Boss Battle: Sonic and Sammy (with some random people)<p>

"Wait…Sonic?" Shadow asked. He looked up to see a bright flash of light, and Akemi fell out of nowhere. Tachi landed next to him, and Swift fell down as well, with her Netbook, some cookies, Sonic and some Author Power cards. Sonic quickly sprang to his feet, and got into a fighting pose.

"Shadow! This has gone on long enough! I have to defeat you!" He cried. Shadow just punched him in the face, knocking him out.

"AWESOME!" Tachi cheered.

"Shut up, Tachi! We're supposed to be elsewhere!" Akemi hissed. Shadow just ignored them, and turned to Sammy.

"Now you're going to give me that Chaos emerald…" He snarled. Sammy thought fast, and then had an idea. As Shadow summoned a Chaos Spear, he pointed at the hedgehog.

"GO, OH MIGHTY BLACK DRAGON OF IDEALS!" He yelled. There was a glass shattering roar, and a massive black dragon flew in, knocking down a wall. He landed in front of Sammy, roared at Shadow, and his cone shaped tail lit up with a light blue colour. The dragon posed dramatically as thunderbolts rained down, reducing the scene into a crispy deep fried area, though his bolts somehow didn't affect the people on the ground. As the bolts stopped, the dragon death glared at Shadow with glowing red eyes.

"Come to think of it...why do I get the evil looking dragon?" Sammy wondered.

"…AWESOME!" Tachi screamed again. Akemi dragged her out of sight, before she got stepped on by the black dragon.

"…You really think a Pokémon is going to stop me?" Shadow laughed. The dragon snarled angrily at him, and shot a bolt of electricity, which Shadow avoided.

"PROPHESY!" Swift yelled, before Akemi dragged her away as well.

"This is Zekrom. He's going to electrocute you, and then stamp on your corpse for good measure!" Sammy shouted.

"…Roar…" Zekrom sweatdropped. He'd rather not have to clean blood off his feet. And hedgehog spikes were painful to have to stamp on. Think about it.

"If this is the prophesy…where's the white dragon?" Shadow asked.

His question was answered when a white stone flew out of his imaginary pockets, and started spinning in the air. It began to glow a clear white colour, and it turned into a huge white dragon, which hovered in the air, curled up. The sound of loud snoring could be heard.

"…Nice dragon, Shadow." Sammy sniggered. Shadow opened his mouth to give him a rude reply, but then the dragon's eyes snapped open, revealing a light blue colour. It spread its wings and landed on the ground with a thunk before roaring at Sammy and baring its fangs.

"…I hate Pokémon Black and White…if they had stuck to one version, I would have the only legendary dragon…but no, they had to make Pokémon Black!" Sammy complained.

The white dragon's tail started glowing a fiery orange colour, and flames danced around it, as it roared up at the sky. The flames vanished, and it calmed down.

"GO, PROPHESY! WOO!" Swift hollered. Akemi sighed, did a Digimodify and summoned Hikari's frying pan and knocked the author out.

"_I am Reshiram. Tell me, little hedgehog…do you wish to hear the blinding truth?" _The white dragon asked in Shadow's mind.

"Well, you could start by telling me where the heck you came from, and why Sammy has a dragon!" Shadow growled. Reshiram nodded.

"_The barrier between universes is starting to collapse due to Black Doom's meddling. You must go to the Black Comet and defeat him to right the balance of yin and yang…"_

"Yes, but why does HE have a dragon?"

"…IDEALS!" Zekrom roared.

"_Since Zekrom is the dragon of Ideals, he decided to become a partner to someone who had strong ideals and wishes…"_

"I wish to kill you…slowly…" Sammy stared at Shadow, who became a bit freaked out.

"When this crazy nonsense is over, I'm keeping far away from you! I'll get a restraining order!" He cried.

"FREAKING IDEALS!" Zekrom roared. Everyone stared at him, and he became quiet.

"_When you defeat Black Doom, I will reveal the one final truth you've been searching for throughout this abridged story. But for now…everyone needs to go to the Black Comet."_

"WAIT!" Tachi screamed. Everyone turned to look at her, and she did a Digimodify. A surprised yellow pony with wings and a picture of butterflies on her flanks appeared. She stared at the two dragons towering about her, and quietly fainted.

"And there's Fluttershy!" Tachi shouted.

* * *

><p><em>Wow. A long chapter of random things happening, Digimodify music, dragons and demon wolves…will Shadow finally find his memory and get more pizza? Will the Commander ever stop trying to kill Shadow? (I highly doubt that) Join us for more Abridged Files…soon!<em>

_A note- In Okamiden, I really do think Dark Chibiterasu's howl sounds like 'KUROOOOOWWW!' Hmm. Maybe Dark Chibi is actually Chibiterasu from the future, and he saw...well, you know, **SOMEONE** die. That was a truly sad moment in the game..._


	12. The last sugar rush

_Sorry I took so long to update! I bet you thought I abandoned the story!_

Tachi: Sammy, will you kindly do the honours?

Sammy: WRONG!

Tachi: Now to the disclaimer!

_I'm too lazy. Blah blah, broke, can't afford Sonic let alone the whole company, wish I had Shadow, blah. What did you expect, a billionaire author?_

Chapter 12: The last sugar rush

Gaming world

After the random stuff happening in Chapter 12, (which involved dragons, puppies and exploding walls) the team were now plotting a way to get rid of Black Doom, and fulfil the prophesy of…well, of chaos.

"…" Fluttershy mumbled.

"What's that? You'll have to speak up." Shadow looked at the pony, and he only heard faint whispering as she repeated her sentence. And it's a known fact here on Fanfiction that Shadow has sharp hearing.

"What?" He asked again.

"..." Fluttershy repeated quietly. Shadow just gave up, and turned to the others. Everyone else had taken out a large Monopoly game board, and were now playing a game.

"That's my house now. Snatch!" Tachi snatched a house from Akemi, and he sighed, as the jackal took his shiny counter as well, which looked like a hat.

"MONOPOLY!" Swift yelled, grabbing the fake money, and flinging it everywhere. Reshiram facepalmed with his wing, and shook his head.

"Can't you wait until someone's won the game to do that?" He asked. Swift shook her head, and threw the money around again. Shadow was not amused as colourful paper dollars flew into his face, nearly giving him a paper cut. He finally lost his patience.

"ENOUGH!" He yelled. They all glanced at him, while Swift continued throwing paper money. Akemi finally got fed up, and knocked the author out with his guitar, while Tachi stole everything that was shiny off the game board. Shadow waited until everyone was paying attention, and then he spoke.

"Reshiram told me what Black Doom was planning earlier…and I'm sorry for listening to him. There's still that pizza he promised me though…" Shadow went into a daydream about fresh pizza.

"Get to the point already!" Sammy shouted, impatiently.

"IDEALS!" Zekrom added.

"It's the end of the game. You know what this means…"

"Wizard lightening battle?" Tachi wondered.

"No, wrong trailer."

"Kurata's going to get owned by a punch to the face?" Akemi asked.

"We're not talking about Digimon-

"WAIT! I have it!" Sonic interrupted.

"What, faker?"

"Sonic 06."

Shadow just death glared at the grinning hedgehog, and then punched him in the face, knocking him out again. Everyone stared in silence as the poor hedgehog landed on the floor, with a black eye on his face.

"The next person to interrupt me will get strangled. As I was saying, it means an epic last boss battle. We have to head to the Black Comet!" Shadow dramatically pointed to the ceiling.

"And then…this crappy game comes to an end."

"How do you know it's a game?" Tachi asked.

"Plot hole. Or breaking the fourth wall…take your pick."

"By the way, Einstein…HAVE YOU THOUGHT OF HOW WE'RE GETTING TO THE BLACK COMET?" Sammy yelled in Shadow's face.

"No…but we could just teleport there with the Chaos emeralds. I have all of them…but not yours."

"And I'm not going to give it to you."

"Shiny." Tachi sighed, holding up a red Chaos emerald so it glinted in the light. Sammy just stared at her.

"…How did she get the emerald?" He asked.

"Tachi's an awesome thief. You should know by now that shiny items tend to vanish around her." Shadow walked up to the happy jackal, and snatched the jewel from her.

"HEY!"

"Find something else to stare at." Shadow held the Chaos emerald up in the air, and was about to do a Chaos Control, when he realised Tachi was eying his inhibitor rings.

"Can I have-"

"No. Chaos control."

There was a bright flash, and everyone except for Fluttershy vanished.

"..." She said, walking off to see if she could find a way back to Equestria. From a far distance, Discord watched the pony, and smirked to himself.

"Time for a little trolling…" He muttered, flying after her.

Black Comet

Shadow teleported everyone behind a random rock inside the comet. He peered from behind the rock, and sighed in annoyance as he saw dozens of Black Arms soldiers patrolling, making a few occasional growls to each other.

"How are we going to get past them?" Tachi asked.

"We use the force." Shadow simply said. Tachi then realised that there shouldn't be air in space, and began silently chocking, while Akemi fell to his knees

"….Zekrom and I are right here, you know. What are we, chopped liver?" Reshiram complained. Shadow just ignored him.

"Anyway, joking aside, we'll have to be careful going through the comet…" Shadow looked behind him to see Akemi dying dramatically, Tachi mouthing like a fish out of water, and Sammy lying on the ground, while Swift looked indifferent, and read a copy of Inheritance.

"You can stop suffocating now, there's air…" He explained. Akemi got up.

"Erm…how are we still alive?

"Plot hole."

"Hang on, I thought sound couldn't be heard in space."

"Plot hole."

"There seems to be a lot of plot holes…" Sammy grumbled from the floor.

"Deal with it." Shadow put some sunglasses on for some reason, and looked epic.

"So…we just have to sneak past the guards, find Black Doom, defeat him, and then I can arrest Shadow- I mean, congratulate him." Sammy said.

"Easier said than done…"

A few seconds later

"SMALL LEECH THING ON THE WALL!" Swift yelled, dramatically pointing at a Black Arms leech.

"UGLY FOOTSOLDIER TRYING TO KILL US!" Tachi yelped, ducking her head as a soldier tried to shoot her head off painfully.

"FREAKING IDEALS IN THE SKY!" Zekrom roared.

"OH SHINING AMATERASU! SAMURAI GIANTS!" Akemi added, seeing a giant Black Arms soldier waving a sharp and pointy sword at them. Shadow growled angrily.

"VACUUM GUN! IT SWALLOWS STUFF!" Swift shouted randomly.

"Will you lot stop overreacting? You're drawing their attention!"

"KYUREM!" Sammy gasped, pointing at a large grey ice dragon snacking on nearby aliens. Kyurem hissed at them, and continued eating his dinner.

"Can we please skip the level? This is just filler…" Shadow sighed. Swift turned to the others.

"It was my birthday on Tuesday!" She announced happily.

"Like we care." Sammy muttered.

"…Meanie." Tachi whispered.

"No one celebrated my birthday. I didn't get one tiny pair of socks. So why should the reviewers and I care about some author's birthday?"

"¬_¬"

"You can look at me like that, but really…not one single damn was given that day."

Approximately one point one seconds later, Sammy ended up with Kyurem sitting on him mysteriously.

But finally, after there was nothing, literally nothing to say about the level, apart from bottomless pits, more random filler that would be good in sandwiches but would taste of Mountain Dew, and Shadow slowly losing his patience and sanity, the small group reached Black Doom.

The strange thing was, Sonic and Company were there already.

"HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET HERE BEFORE US?" Shadow roared in fury, seeing Sonic's smug expression. Sonic pointed to a lift.

"FUUU-"

"DON'T GIVE HIM THE EMERALDS, SHADOW!" Amy interrupted. Shadow flashed red for a few minutes while hissing, and turned to Black Doom.

"Black Doom! This madness ends now! You've sent me on pointless quests! If it weren't for you, I wouldn't be listening to these idiots, I would be angsting under my epic tree! I BLAME YOU FOR THIS!"

"AH, THE LITTLE RAT HAS TURNED. I WAS WONDERING WHEN YOU'D DO THAT. I NEVER HAD ANY PIZZA TO BEGIN WITH, IN THE FIRST PLACE. I'VE BEEN FOOLING YOU THE WHOLE TIME, AND IT TOOK NEARLY FOURTEEN LEVELS FOR YOUR PUNY MIND TO REALISE." Black Doom laughed, while Shadow's eye twitched.

"GASP! Plot advance!" Tachi gasped.

"NOW THEN…I'LL TAKE THOSE EMERALDS OFF YOUR HANDS, AND CONQUER THE WORLD WITH THEM. DESPITE BEING A POWERFUL WARLORD WITH THE ABILITY TO MANIPULATE CHAOS ENERGY, I NEEDED THEM TO TELEPORT THE BLACK COMET TO THE PLANET…"

"Er…right…you're going down, Black Doom!" Shadow snarled, getting ready to fight. Black Doom just laughed. Shadow growled and leapt at him, before landing on the floor a few inches away from him.

"What…? I can't move…" He said in shock, trying to squirm. Black Doom towered above him, and took the hedgehog's Chaos emeralds. He laughed evilly while Shadow looked puzzled.

"I CAN CONTROL YOU LIKE A PUPPET…DO YOU UNDERSTAND SHADOW? YOU WERE CREATED FROM MY BLOOD! THAT IS THE TRUTH!"

"That can't be…impossible…" Shadow muttered in denial. Doom looked at the shocked group, while Swift continued to look indifferent, and read her book.

"I HAVE A PLEASANT FATE FOR YOU MORTALS…" He hissed. Sonic tried to do an attack, but found that he was paralysed.

"What?" He shouted.

"…I think I need someone to turn this page for me. I'll try blowing on it." Swift blew on the pages of her book, until it flicked to the next page. She kept on reading, while everyone panicked, unable to run around like headless chickens.

"How will I stalk- I mean, hug my beloved Sonic if I CAN'T MOVE?" Amy ranted. Sonic glanced at her, and wished he could slide away.

"You're a DEMON, Black Doom!" Sammy shouted.

"SCREAM ALL YOU WANT. I THINK YOU'LL BE DELICIOUS SNACKS FOR MY OFFSPRING. KIDS…IT IS TIME FOR DINNER." Black Doom watched as several leeches squirmed up, making small growling noises.

"Ewww!"

"Great Chaos, what are those?"

"They're the unholy spawn of Nazo that crawled out of a dark pit!"

"THEY'LL DRAIN YOUR LIFE FORCE SLOWLY…BEFORE DEVOURING YOUR PRECIOUS LIMBS. ENJOY."

"Wait a minute…" Sammy realised Tachi was yawning, and scratching her ear, even though she shouldn't have been able to move.

"JACKAL, DO SOMETHING!"

"Huh? Okay." Tachi turned into a rat, jumped onto Sammy's head, and started doing a shuffle dance, while 'Everyday I'm Shuffling' played in the background. 

"I DIDN'T MEAN THAT, YOU IDIOT!"

"…WELL, THIS IS UNEXPECTED. I NEVER THOUGHT A SMALL…WHATEVER THAT IS, WOULD OPPOSE MY POWERS." Black Doom said thoughtfully.

"Oh, Tachi's DNA is so screwed up, it defies the law of plot." Akemi explained.

"HEY!"

All of a sudden, when it seemed the good people would get eaten by leech things, a TV screen placed rather conveniently over Black Doom's head, turned on. A guy with a long grey moustache appeared.

"ZOMG, it's that old guy!" Amy realised. The man's eye twitched.

"I hope no one called me old…I will be VERY cross." He grumbled. Shadow looked up, and his mouth fell open.

"Professor?"

"Anyway, I hope this camera is working. Maybe Shadow will see it one day, pull off a Deus Ex Machina, and get rid of Black Doom!" Gerald hinted.

"…W-what?" Shadow wondered.

"Anyway…Shadow, it falls to YOU to defeat Black Doom! Long story short, he wanted a loyal servant or something, and I might have made a small mistake. But the important thing is…YOU HAVE TO SAVE THE WORLD!"

"…Really?"

"I know you must be standing there with a shocked expression on your face, probably lost your memory, and Black Doom is controlling you. But you can fight it! You're my son!...Bye."

"Well, that was awfully short." Maria commented off screen.

"Has anyone seen my coffee?" A voice yelled in the background. Gerald sighed, and turned the camera off.

"…What's a Deus Ex Machina?" Tachi asked innocently. Shadow narrowed his eyes at Black Doom, who was speechless, and he flattened his ears down.

"I'll show you…" He snarled, suddenly stamping on the leech about to chew on his leg and squashing it.

"THIS CANNOT BE! I WILL NOT BE DEFEATED!" Black Doom shouted, teleporting and leaving the Chaos emeralds behind conveniently.

"I'll go after him…and finish what this game started!" He growled.

"So, you're going to leave us to DIE?" Sonic yelled at him.

"Yes. Because I hate you Sonic." Shadow concentrated, and turned into Super Shadow. He flew off, leaving some still paralysed people behind.

"…The blobs are going to eat us!" Amy whispered.

"I don't think so…plot hole, please." Akemi said. A large grey Irish Wolfhound appeared, with a revolver in his paw. He shot at the leeches while epic guitar music played in the background.

"Thanks, Revolver! Good boy!"

"Woof!"

"You trained your dog to shoot a gun?" Sammy stared at the strange sight.

Final Epic Awesome Boss: Black- I mean, DEVIL DOOM!

Shadow caught up to Black Doom, and slowed down as he saw a two headed dragon thing standing on a random mountain, roaring and laughing manically.

"…THE HELL?" He screamed.

"SHADOW…MY SON, YOU HAVE FAILED ME! I WILL NOW PAINFULLY KILL YOU WHILE TELEPORTING AWAY WHENEVER YOU COME CLOSE!" Devil Doom roared, teleporting away.

And so began the longest fight in the game. Every time Shadow got near to Doom, he would Chaos Control away, before flinging things like important research papers, rocks and aliens at Shadow.

"STAY STILL!" The super hedgehog cried in frustration.

"SHADOW! Even though it's a plot hole, we're able to talk to you because Tails has a device thingy!" Sonic's voice rang across the sky.

"Ah, not annoying boss advice!"

"Aim for its eye! And we're sending Reshiram to help you!" Sammy added. The great white dragon appeared next to Shadow, in a burst of flame.

"Shadow. Are you willing to face the bitter, terrifying truth?" He asked. Shadow nodded firmly.

"Then let it begin."

Devil Doom stared as Shadow got onto Reshiram's back. At that moment, this was the closest picture you could get to epicness being drawn. Super Shadow, riding a giant dragon with the sky a blood red colour, with the sun mysteriously eclipsed, while every single choir in the town sang I Am All Of Me with guitars playing.

…To put it simply, it was more awesome than Ash Ketchum riding on the back of a armoured dinosaur-polar bear-dragon-goose-werewolf great white shark hybrid with flame throwers on its legs, lasers shooting out of its eyes, in space, while Chuck Norris played a guitar, cookies rained down from the sky, while the hybrid and Ash Ketchum WERE ON FIRE.

Words couldn't describe how epic the final battle was.

And then suddenly, another epic sight appeared. Shadow watched as light shone down from the heavens, and Rayquaza descended down, with an Umbreon and a Pokemon Trainer (who was a fox) on his back. The green sky snake dragon thingy began shooting Hyper Beams at Devil Doom.

RANDOM INTERRUPTION!

Akemi stared at a bottle of Mountain Dew. It stared back. He eyed it until he couldn't take it much longer, and drank the whole bottle. A crazy look came into his eyes, he picked up his guitar, and started singing.

My lovely video games, my lovely video games, ahhhhh…

CALL OF DUTAY! *guitar* I used to wonder what badassery could be!

CALL OF DUTAY! Then we all took a LASER arrow to the knee!

Awesome epicness!

Lots of weapons!

Skyrim and Minecraft are just SO EPIC!

I'm on a sugar rush!

This doesn't rhyme much!

AND VIDEO GAMES MAKE IT SO FREAKING COMPLETE!

CALL OF DUTAY!

I'M SURE YOU KNEW, MAKAROV'S A MAGNIFICENT JERKWAD….!

And now we return you back to the story.

After the boss fight

"Wow, I feel sorry for anyone who missed THAT fight." Tachi commented.

"Yeah! Especially how Zekrom appeared towards the end, Shadow summoned a Robot Unicorn, and there was a double rainbow all the way!" Swift cheered.

"And don't forget how Rayquaza and that fox incinerated Doom!"

"Yup. Such a fight won't be seen again for a century…" Sonic wiped what looked like a tear out of his eye.

In the ARK

Shadow looked out of the window at the planet. He had done it. After much questing, annoying side characters, filler, and Black Doom, he had survived fangirls, memes and ponies…

And he had won the game.

He looked down at an old photo.

"I won't let my past hold me back any more. I know now what is my purpose…to Domino's!" He said dramatically, dropping the photo and teleporting.

Two weeks later, the long suffering hedgehog was run over by a car, and he lost his memory. Again.

Sonic was relieved to hear that he would star in another game as a main character. He had heard his fans speaking in hushed whispers about the arrival of Sonic 06.

Which was sure to be full of adventure, rescuing princesses, and time travel back to the future!

But that was for another story.

_It's completed…*collapses on keyboard*_

Tachi: This chapter could have taken another month, but we used the power of Mountain Dew, willpower and filler!

_Another story complete!...Or IS IT? Don't worry, I'm just messing with you guys. TO THE CREDITS!_

The reviewers-

_THANK YOU ALL FOR 42 REVIEWS! When I wrote the story, I wasn't expecting it to be popular! Thank you, thank you, MERCI!_

The characters-

_For putting up with this without complaining!_

Shadow: *grumbles*

Tachi: *sweatdrop*

Sonic: We're getting paid for this, right?

_Er…_

SEGA!

_Without you, I would be stuck with Nintendo, and Mario! SEVEN YEARS OF BEING A SHADOW FANGIRL! Woot!_

My mentor!

_For not staring at me when I said I wrote stories about Sonic games!_

Lucy Labrador!

_For being my first reader and friend on !_

And YOUUUUUUU!

_Thanks for reading! Bye!_

Extra?

Tachi looked at the reviewers and smiled in a sinister way.

"What if there was an OC story coming up?" She asked, polishing what looked like an Inhibitor ring from Shadow.


End file.
